Love and Marriage
by Angel in the Shadows36
Summary: It is the 1800's and Suze is betrothed to Paul, who she absoulutely can not stand. Then she meets Jesse, and starts to fall in love with him. But will Paul just stand by as Jesse takes his girl?
1. Perfect Strangers

Hi! This will be the second fan fic I've posted, started another one about a week ago. Don't think work on any others for a while, considering I'm going to be starting school again and will actually be busy. Anyway, hope you enjoy this story. I couldn't think of a better title :( I hate titling things...

Read and review please, it'd be much appreciated

Enjoy!

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"No! I refuse to, Andy; you can not force me to marry that man. That man is an arrogant insensitive pompous brute. He has no respect for women, and I wish not to marry Paul Slater." I stared icily at my step-father, who had just come from the Slater ranch, to apparently arrange a marriage. Anyone but that Slater boy, I simply hate him.

"Susannah, sweetie don't be ridiculous. His family is one of the most respected in all of Carmel, and the wealthiest. Imagine what marriage between our families could bring to our small mediocrity of a farm."

"I don't care. I'd much rather marry the least wealthy man if it meant that I love him, and I will never be able to love Paul Slater. You can't make me marry him; you are not my real father." A tension erupted in the room. I had not meant to say that, I love Andy, and he's been a great father to me since my own passed away all those years ago.

My mother who had been in the room while Andy attempted explain the agreement inhaled sharply, glaring in my direction, "Susannah!" I know she loved Andy; the two off them cared deeply for each other. Since my father's death, my mother had been a walking corpse, then she met Andy and they decided to marry. She's never been sad a day since. That's what I want, to love the man I marry despite how rich or poor he is.

I looked at my mother, hurt by the expression ridden on her delicate face, "Mother, I'm so sorry. I-I… I didn't mean it." Not knowing what to do, I ran out our front door, neglecting to hear my mother's and step-father's cries for me to return at once.

I am normally not one to cry, so I was even more so unsettled to find warm saline tears streaking my face. But I know what I had said had been hurtful, to both my mother and step-father. They didn't deserve me as a daughter, by blood or marriage. I will never measure up to their expectations of the 19th century lady. I just can not stand what women are expected to do in this day and age.

It might sound bizarre for me to say this, but I cam communicate with deceased spirits. Such as my father, who normally shows up whenever I least expect it. Right now I wish he'd come to me, but I probably won't see him for a while, he likes to make himself scarce. So, not being able to see my father, I went to the one place I knew I could still feel him no matter what. I went to the cove. Our cove. His cove. He used to bring me here quite a lot back when he was alive, before he'd gotten sick and bedridden. I was quite little then, but I've always remembered the location, even after 12 years of him not bringing me here.

My horse, Shadow, galloped fiercely against the dirt covered road, plummeting through the valleys of sunny Carmel, California. Minutes later, we'd arrived at the beach. I directed Shadow towards the rocks at the end, where I'd be able to reach my cove.

When I arrived, I was quite shocked to see another horse waiting by the rocky area. A beautiful stallion, honey colored, unlike my dark black horse. The other horse was clearly well bred, belonging to a member of the upper class in Carmel, no doubt. Leaving Shadow behind by the other mare, I started climbing up the rocks into my cove. Hopefully, the owner of the other horse wouldn't be nearby, I like to think that I'm the only one who knows where this is cove is located at. That it is my special place where I can come to think.

Imagine my disappointment when I saw a young man, not much older than myself, sitting against the ledge of the rocks on _my cove_. The stranger, deep in thought, did not hear my coming; he was solely staring out at the ocean ahead of him. I took this moment to take in his appearance. To say he was good-looking would be the ultimate understatement, he was gorgeous, _beautiful. _Much better than that hideous Paul Slater for sure. Paul is a good looking man, that I will not deny, but his personality is truly an ugly one.

Sitting next to him, he finally snapped out of his reverie, quite shocked to see me by him, as much as I had been when I'd found his horse out by the rocks. The stranger took in my appearance much like I had done moments earlier, and finally spoke, "Good evening, fair lady. May I ask what it is you are doing here?" His eyes reminded me much of someone I'd known long ago, but no names came to mind at all.

I smiled my toothiest smile at him, surreptitiously happy that he'd acknowledged me. "Good evening. I came to clear my mind. I had an argument with my step-father, so I came here to clear my thoughts," should I tell him this used to be my father's spot? "My father used to bring me here when I was little, so I've always loved it here." Why had I just told him? This man was a stranger to me, someone I'll probably never see again.

He nodded, taking in this information. "It is beautiful here, isn't it?" Only, when he said this, he wasn't looking out at what lie ahead, but deep into my eyes. My cheeks flushed, damn things, no man had ever said such thing about me. Or maybe I was just imaging the whole ordeal. "I've come here for as long as I can remember. Since I was just a lad of four years of age. So, what is it that you come to clear your mind of, miss? Maybe a confessing your problems to a mere stranger will help you feel more at ease?"

I don't know why it is that I went on to explain Andy setting my marriage to Paul Slater, even though I didn't use his name, to keep our meeting more anonymous, but his eyes were so enticing that I found myself purging myself of these thoughts with no trouble at all. I told him all about the argument that had followed how I had said Andy was not my real father and how hurt both he and my mother had looked at this confession.

The stranger's dark pool of eyes never left mine, and he nodded knowingly, as if he knew what I was going through. I still hadn't learnt his name, but he was just so beautiful. With dark hair to match perfect dark eyes, he is by far the most handsome man I have ever set my eyes on. He apparently seemed to be of Mexican decent as well, if his tanned skin and Spanish accent were any indication.

"I understand. My father is currently setting me up to marry my disdainful cousin, Maria. That lady is deeply arrogant and holds herself higher than others," I snorted, simply to express my feelings for how she and Paul are made for each other. This caused a look of confusion to spread across his face, and above his right brow, I noticed a white streak, a scar that was left there. Then recognition dawned on him and he chuckled a deep chuckle.

"Looks like we're both in similar situations, miss." He smiled at me.

"It would seem so." I found myself scooting in closer to him as a chilled breeze blew pass. The sun was starting to set now, indicating that I had clearly been here for well over an hour talking to this stranger, a beautiful stranger nonetheless.

"It's getting late, wouldn't you say so? I must be returning to my family, surely they will begin to worry soon." I nodded in agreement.

"Yes, and so will mine. I must too make amends with my step-father."

He stood up and offered his rough calloused hand to help me stand up which I accepted. He led the way from the cove, helping me in the steep parts. Each time I accepted his help, though I've been here times a thousand before and very well could climb down on my own. It goes with the whole ladies are fragile as porcelain image we have in this era. I hope one day things will be better for us women.

"Would you like me to accompany you to your home?"

"No, thank you. Your offer is kindly appreciated, but I can handle it myself." He looked at me the slightest bit disbelievingly but didn't argue against it. "Thank you for your kind company today."

He nodded, "And to you the same, _querida._" He took my hand in his and softly kissed my cheek before mounting his horse, the honey colored mare from earlier before.

"Remember; follow your heart's desire, _querida_, if you do not wish to marry that man, explain it to your stepfather as you have done so to me." What was with this whole _querida_ business about? The way he laced the word with his smooth silky voice? And worst of all, we were departing ways and I still did not know his name. With that, he rode off, his horse leaving imprints in the soft sand, leaving me too watch behind deeply mesmerized by him. This'll probably be the last time I see him ever. There was something so familiar to him, as if I'd known him before, but I couldn't quite place how or where I might know him from.

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My mother, step-father, and father-uh oh- were all waiting for my return, the first two completely oblivious of my father's presence.

"Susannah, where have you been?" Both my fathers asked the moment they laid eyes on me. Taking a step closer, I found myself facing Andy, ignoring my father to deal with later, seeing as I couldn't very well initiate conversation with him right now.

Ignoring their question, I sincerely looked Andy in the eyes, "Andy, foremost, I would like to extend my apologies to you. I did not mean what I said to you about not being my father, you're a great father indeed," I flinched, not wanting to let my gaze land on my actual father only a few feet away. "I was upset, is all."

He nodded appreciatively, "Your apology is accepted, Susannah. Now, go off to bed, we will discuss this marriage business further tomorrow." I nodded, great: I'm still not saved from marrying Satan's spawn. I shudder to think if he really is Satan's spawn. I noticed my father vacated the room I was currently in; he must've left clearly upset with me.

I'm a father upsetter. That's what they should call me: Susannah the-father-upsetter Marie Simon-Ackerman.

Reaching my room in the upper part of the house, I found my room illuminated by a glow of the spirited variety. My father is waiting for me in my room. Perfect.

"Susannah, who was that man you were with? I came to see you up by the cove, after sensing your distress, but I found you with that man instead." He'd been snooping on me? How dare he!

"Father, I was upset, and that man had already been there when I arrived. We talked some, about our fixed marriages. That's all. I didn't even get his name; I will clearly never see him again."

"Very well then, Susannah." He took me in his arms, embracing me, "I love you, you know that, right? Never forget me; I will always be your father." With that, he dematerialized. _I love you too, father. _Who knows how long it'll be before he shows up again.

I changed into my night gown; I settled in to bed, my dreams revolving around the handsome stranger.

Well, that's chapter one. I am currently working on chapter two, which will be a little longer than this one.

Thanks


	2. Strangers No More

Here is chapter two. The update was really quick on this story, but I have had the story started for a while, so more than half of this chapter was written when I posted the first. Not all my updates will be as fast, though I do tend to update quickly... is that confusing? Don't thihnk so...

Anyway, here is chapter two, which is about twice as long as the first. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Now, a special thanks to my reviwers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, shawna-xo, Rieanna, tucker529, and DARKrosePRINCESS. You guys rock!

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Waking up the next morning, I felt a sudden calm wash over my body, as if nothing could ever hurt me. My thoughts were still very much on the man I met yesterday, and I just simply could not place him away from my thoughts. His handsome features were too enticing, and somehow familiar, as if I did know him once before.

I removed my nightgown, folding it neatly back into my drawers and put on my dress for the day. I know Andy will be waiting for me downstairs, to discuss this whole marriage nonsense. I'm hoping he'll have reached some sort of agreement wit the Slater's and I won't have to marry their horrid Paul.

Downstairs, I found my mother already at work on preparing breakfast. "Good morning, mother. Do you need help with breakfast?" I inquired, reaching for an apple from the table.

"No. Not today, Susie, but thank you." She returned her focus back to the eggs she was preparing.

"Mom, is Andy not here? I thought we were to discuss my marriage."

"And you will, Susie, he's gone off to discuss things with the Slater's. We'll se what he comes back with. He shan't be too long now." I nodded. Well, at least he is respecting my wishes for what I am sure would be a treacherous marriage on my behalf.

"All right, ma. Call me when breakfast is ready, I will be outside, with Shadow." Every morning, I go out to groom my horse. She may not be the best, but I certainly love her, and take care of her as needed. Loving my horse is the closest I'll probably ever come to finding real love.

Thoughts of the young man from yesterday return yet again. There'd been a connection, yesterday. I'm sure he felt it too, otherwise why did we mutually confide in one another's troubles? These are not the type of things you share with mere strangers.

"Shadow, what did you think about that boy yesterday? He sure was handsome, wasn't he?" He whinnied in response. I'll take that as a yes, though it could have been for a number of reasons. "Do you think we'll find him there again tonight if we return?" This time Shadow didn't respond, and I left it at that, gently stroking her mane with the brush. Saddling and mounting my horse, I set out for our usual run down to the beach and back, giving Shadow the exercise hell need. We galloped down to the beach, taking probably no more than five minutes. When I got there, I couldn't help but go over by the rocky cove entrance, disappointed that the honey colored horse from yesterday was not there, indicating that the stranger would most likely not be there either. I wish I'd gotten his name, so I wouldn't have to refer to him as 'the stranger from yesterday' he was something much more than that.

I returned home, feeling ridiculous that I let myself get so caught up in my thoughts and emotions, looking for the man from yesterday. He probably didn't remember me, and if he did, he surely was not thinking of me as much as I was of him. On the way home, I caught sight of Andy ahead of me, followed by two other men on horses. I sped up, trying to catch up with them, but they were to far off. They got to the house minutes before me, and when I arrived they were all ready inside, waiting for me, I'm sure. Breakfast should have been prepared by now as well. Mother always finishes just as I ride in.

Leaving my horse in the stable, I went inside the house. "I'm back, mother, Andy." I followed the sound of conversation to the eating room, where my step-father was surrounded by the two men on both sides. Getting a good look at them, I realized they were the Slater's, the one to the left was Paul; I could tell by the way his eyes hungrily took me in. To the right was Mr. Slater, his father and town doctor, who also managed a ranch, how he did it was beyond me.

Paul left the side of Andy's chair and approached me that hungry glint never leaving his eyes. "Good morning, Susannah. I hear you're having second thoughts to our proposed marriage. Now, why would that be?" His hand shot up to stroke my cheek softly, and he swept a strand of hair behind my ear.

I shoved the hand away, letting the piece of hair fall back into place, "It's simple, I don't like you, Paul. I never have, and surely you are aware of that by now."

"Now, Suze, don't be ridiculous, if I recall correctly, we were friends in childhood."

"Yes, before you became an arrogant, disrespectful man, Paul. Back then, I would not have minded this marriage, but now, I can not even stand the sight of you for more than a minute, so I somehow doubt I'll ever be able to be married to you for the rest of my life."

He chuckled at me, stroking my cheek with his hand again. I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the gesture for a second before snapping back, "Don't touch me."

"I know you enjoy it Susannah. No one can resist my charming attributes. All the girls in the town are envious that my father chose you as my betrothed, you should feel honored."

"Well, then marry another of those girls, I'm sure they'd just _love_ to marry you." I walked away to where Andy and Mr. Slater were situated, trying to leave Paul behind, but he had followed. "Andy, have you come to some new agreement with Mr. Slater? A loophole of sorts that would allow me the right to refuse this marriage?"

Andy sighed, looking at a document in front of him, then up to me. "Well, we've been talking for a while now. And he's agreed that if you have not changed your mind otherwise, then we'll announce that the marriage will not be happening at the engagement gala at the end of the week. You are to spend the rest of your afternoons with Paul until the night of the gala, and if you wish to proceed with the wedding or not will be your decision, and it will not happen. Understood?"

I nodded, feeling instantly relieved. I could spend a couple of evenings with Paul. I know that I will not ever be convinced to be his betrothed, so I'll just go along with it, and then tell Mr. Slater and my step-father that I do not wish to marry Paul. Whispering in to my ear, Paul said, "I'll make you mine Susannah. By then end of the week, you'll be so charmed by me, you'll want nothing else but to marry me." His warm breath tickled my ear.

"Keep wishing, Paul. I'll never love you, not with our past." As a boy, Paul had been a really sweet child. He'd been so caring and so loving. He had been my best child hood friend. We would play every day almost, and couldn't spend much time apart. Both of us would cry whenever our parents made us go home after a long day of playing. We were inseparable. He was also the only other person that knew of my _ability_ of communicating with the deceased. When I first told him, he was relieved, having said that he to could communicate with ghosts. This revelation only drew us closer.

But one summer, his father sent him away to New York City. Paul spent the whole summer there, and when he returned, he had become a pig-headed jerk. Upon his return, he came in search of me. I was glad to see him, so I hugged him tightly. Next thing I knew, his lips met with mine and we were pulled into a deep kiss. I didn't think much of it then, but our relationship had suddenly deepened with that one kiss. Whenever we met, we would spend our whole time kissing. One night, when he'd agreed to meet me by at the beach, I could smell the bittersweet scent of wine in his breath, in heavy doses. It was the middle of the night, since neither of us wanted to let our families know that we were falling in love. That night, when the smell of wine was heavy in his breath, he forced himself upon me. He pinned me into the soft sand beneath us and kissed me wildly, trying rapidly to remove my clothes. I struggled, trying to fight him off, and when I finally did I ran home.

He tried several more times, and he even hit me once, when I refused to comply. Since that night I have not been able to trust him. Following the night after he hit me, I tried to stay far from him, yet always following him at night, to see what he did. He would always be at the local saloon, drinking heavily. I realized right then and there that before he'd left, he had never once drunk anything slightly alcoholic, and upon his return, he always had the scent of alcohol trailing him. Why I had never realized it, I did not know and felt deeply betrayed by the one man that had meant so much to me once. He'd kissed me greedily for so long, and I thought he actually might love me, but I realized it was the effects of the alcohol.

Afterwards, I would see him running around town with different girls, sneaking in kisses when no one was looking. That is why all the girls in town wish that they could be the ones marrying him, because he offered them something they wanted, something he was offering to me, but I refused to accept.

Since his return, he became disrespectful to women, conceited, thought himself to be above others, and many other things. The once sweet boy no longer remained, his innocence tainted by that one summer spent in New York City. That one summer four years ago, when he was seventeen, on the verge of turning eighteen. I had only been fifteen then, always having been two years his junior. Now I'm twenty and he could possibly be the man I end up marrying. The very thought sends shivers coursing through my body.

"You'll come around, Suze. You can't deny what we had once. By the end of the week, you'll be mine. If not, I might just have to tell everyone about your abilities."

"Who would even believe you? You have any idea how ridiculous that would sound? Leave me alone, Paul." I glared at him, wishing he'd just leave already. My mother had brought out breakfast, and we all ate, accompanied by Paul and his father for breakfast. His father already left, and Paul still lingered, not giving me a moment of peace. "The agreement was we are to spend _afternoons_ together, not the entire day. I already know that I will not change my mind despite how much time we spend together. You're parents may not be aware of your ways, but I am. So leave, and don't come back until later in the evening." Of course Paul would not hear any of it, and didn't leave until the early evening.

He tried various times to suck me into one of those amazing kisses of his, but I avoided them. Hating him is made so much harder when he kisses so well, making the desire to avoid them all that harder. His kisses are so sinful, filled with a heavy passion. I know I don't have enough will power to avoid those kisses for long. I will give into the temptation of kissing him, and that will be all it takes to convince him that I do want to marry him after all. I have to be strong because I'm afraid I might just give in.

That night I returned to the cove. Originally, I wanted to go in hopes of seeing the man from yesterday. But now, my thoughts were troubled, thinking about Paul. When I arrived, I saw the familiar honey colored horse from the night before, and my heart leapt with joy. He was here! That motivated me to climb al the fasted up into the cove overlooking the sea. His eyes were fixed out on the ocean ahead of him again, and joined him at the boulder he was perched on. "We meet again."

He looked up and his lips curved into a gorgeous smile. "I was hoping we would," his tans cheeks flushed immediately after he realized what exactly he said, and turned away. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to say that like that."

I chuckled at his embarrassment, "It's quite alright, I was hoping we would too."

"Well then, at least the feeling is mutual," he chuckled. His cheeks were still flushed.

"Yes, it is," I wanted so badly to ask his name, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him yet. I don't know why. "I have also come, because my mind is in another state of distress. Much like yesterday evening."

"Would you care to share? As I have no problems of my own tonight."

I went on to explain the deal that was set between my father and the Slater's, still not telling him the name of who it is I am betrothed too, I couldn't share that name, feeling ridiculously unworthy of being deemed a future Slater. I told him everything that happened today with Paul, and he nodded and commented in the appropriate places.

"Well, you must remember, follow your heart. If you really don't wish to be with this man, just tell them all on the agreed night."

"I wish it were that easy, but my betrothed and I have quite a past. It won't be that easy, he's to tempting. I have to constantly remind myself I don't like him when he is around." My eyes, fixed on the ocean during my whole explanation, finally trailed to meet his. Again, he had that look in his eyes from yesterday, when he told me about the beautiful view while clearly looking at me. "What about you? Has anything been solved between your marriage to Maria?"

He nodded, "No, I don't think anything can change our wedding arrangements, unfortunately. I'm still trying to think of things, but so far I've been unsuccessful."

We got to talking about our families; he apparently is the oldest of six, being the only boy. He gets along very well with his mother and grandmother, and never quite meets eye to eye with his father. I explained about my family situation, how my father died when I was young, and then my mother remarried, not being able to support the both of us on her own.

I still wanted to know his name, but I couldn't ask him. The feeling was so odd. Instead, I said, "I can't help but feel that I know you somehow. You look so familiar, like someone I met long ago and have not seen since."

"Me too," he nodded in agreement. "If you don't mind my asking, we've been talking for two evenings now, and I have yet to know your name. What is it?"

I smiled; finally, finally we're getting our names out in the open. "Susannah. Susannah Simon."

"Well, Miss Simon, this solves our problems, I did indeed know you long ago. Jesse de Silva, or Hector, I don't know which name I gave you."

Jesse de Silva, the name rolled through my memory, then when he said Hector, it clicked. I did know a Hector de Silva. Hector de Silva and Paul had been best friends back when we were still young. Hector would regularly join us when ever we went to play. Though, since he was older, he stopped playing us when he was about sixteen, when he had to help his father with the ranch regularly, taking up his time. They were the second wealthiest family in all of Carmel, and the ranch is a huge asset to their wealth. I couldn't believe it, after 8 long years of not seeing him, we meet again.

"Hector, yes I remember you now. Whatever happened to you? You stopped playing with Paul-" his name sent shivers down my spine, "-and I." Should I tell him Paul is my betrothed?

"Yes, my father needed me at the ranch nearly everyday once I turned sixteen. He got very sick that year and he needed me, so I stopped seeing the two of you. And-" he stopped, taking a deep breath, looking away, thinking his next words carefully, "And, well I had feelings developing for you. I liked you, but you were much younger than I, so I decided it would be best if I just never saw you. You were still a child then, no older than twelve, and I was almost an adult. It wasn't right, so I got absorbed into the work at the ranch." His gaze returned to meet mine, and he smiled. "I still talked with Paul after that, but we're not nearly as close now as we were then. He changed a lot."

I nodded, knowing all to well what he meant. "Jesse," I'd never called him Jesse before, but that name sounded more natural than Hector, "Paul is my betrothed." I left the statement hanging, not knowing how he would react.

"I had thought it was you he was marrying. Well, I didn't know until now that you are _the_ Susannah he's thrilled to be marrying, but when he said Susannah, I figured it was the Susannah from our childhood. Now the very same Susannah is in front of me, telling me she can not stand the thought of marrying Paul Slater, while he tells me that he wants nothing more than to marry Susannah Simon," He chuckled, finding this amusing. I know Paul wants to marry me, and yet I can't stand the thought. I laughed too; it was after all kind of funny.

"Long ago, I wouldn't have minded so much, but then he… changed," I said, not thinking of another better word.

"I understand, since then, we've never been really close. I'm not at all like that and could never stand to do the things he does."

When I was young, Jesse had been very handsome, with his dark features and chiseled muscle work. But now, eight years later, he was no longer a boy; he was a full grown man, handsome in every way possible. That shy awkwardness he once held was no longer remnant, but now he is even more handsome than what he had once been.

As I sit here, talking with Jesse if it was fate that drew us back, or just an unexplained force. He admitted to having feelings about me, and I had always been drawn to him and his easy going ways, not to mention his handsomeness.

"Jesse," I said his name, having to want to ask his him if he really did have feelings for me a long time ago. But then decided against it, knowing it was ridiculous to dwell on something that long ago.

"Yes, _querida_?" The very word drew goose bumps to my skin, his sweet voice lacing nicely around the word.

"Never mind," I said shaking my head. Up ahead, the sun was slowly creeping downwards in the sky, casting a radiating glow around it, much like that of a ghost. I sighed, knowing that I would soon have to leave, but I didn't want to leave Jesse, I was enjoying his company so much. "Where do you think the sun goes?" I found myself asking. "Once it sets, I mean," A silly question, I know, but curiosity exceeded the embarrassment that will surely follow. I wanted to hear his answer, his take on it.

He looked at me curiously, then taking in a deep breath; he opened his mouth to speak. I waited tentatively, waiting his response, "Well, I think that, like people, the sun must set to rise again in all its splendor the following day. It needs to rest, or else it will exhaust itself one day." I don't know why I asked the question, but I smiled, liking his answer, to myself then openly at him.

I stood up at last, brushing the bottom of my skirt. With one more longing glance at the sun, I turned my attention back to Jesse, knowing that when I turned back, the sun would be gone. "I should better get going. It is after all, twilight. My mother will surely worry if I get home any later while out on my own," And like I predicted, when I turned around, the sun was no longer visible, hidden underneath the ocean, resting.

"Must you?" His cheeks flushed, noting his forwardness, most likely, and then he resumed, "I mean, if you must then, that is okay. But if you stay, I will make it my duty to see you home, and explain to your mother that you were with me the whole time."

I thought his offer over, liking his suggestion, but I really did have to get home, "Maybe some other time?" I sat back down again next to him, "While I do appreciate your offer, I really do need to get going." My hand hovered above his knee and I couldn't decide whether or not to press against it in some reassuring manner. In the end however, my hand withdrew and settled on my own knee.

Taking in his features one last time, I stood up, starting to make my way down to my horse. Jesse, I noticed trailed right behind me. "Well, can I at least make sure you get home safely?" he asked, his lips curling coyly in his seductive smile-if such a thing is possible.

I nodded, "I'd love it if you did, Jesse."

So for the ten minute ride home, he galloped along side my own horse, our voices a whisper in the night air. This by far, has got to be in every way the most enjoyable ride home I have ever taken. Jesse's got such a calming way of doing things, which shows through in his conversations, as he says things slowly and precisely, making sure he will not have to repeat himself. I, however, tend to ramble at times, not understandable at all.

I was completely shocked when we reached the entrance to my home. Dismounting my horse, I led him through the opening, Jesse following suit. At the stables, I lit the lantern at the entrance and tied Shadow to his regular pot, brushing his mane quickly before returning to Jesse who waited at the barn door.

"Jesse, I enjoyed your company on my way home, thank you, so very much." I smiled.

"I, too, enjoyed your company, Susannah. It was very nice seeing you tonight." His hands were behind his back, and he looked into the distance, turning to gaze at moments later, "Do you want to meet again tomorrow?"

The _yes_ hung at the tip of my tongue, when I remembered the agreement with Mr. Slater and Andy, my face fell, disappointed. "I wish I could, but I've agreed to spending nights with Paul in the afternoon, as to sway my decision over the marriage. I already know the answer is no, but for the sake of my step-father, I agreed."

His head bobbed in a half-nod, his disappointment clearly evident. "Well, maybe some other time." We had already reached the edge of the porch steps.

I headed up the stairs of our porch, heading for the front door. "Good night, Jesse."

Reaching for the door, my hand hung in the air when he called back, "Good night, _querida_," He said, turning away.

"What does that mean? Keh-ree-da?" My hand took a hold of the door knob.

Jesse chuckled, mounting his horse, "Good night," He said in a sing-songy voice, his leg going over the horse's back, and he rode off into the night.

888

Read and review, please, as always. Haven't thought of anything for chapter three, but I'll try to have something up by Saturday or Sunday. Please, if you haven't already, R&R my other story: Ghost of You, I'd appreciate it lots. If you don't like it, then at least you tried it, right? Thanks, Kim!


	3. Pig Without Mud

Well, here is chapter three of Love and Marriage. I don't like it that much, but it'll do. So, hope you all enjoy!

As usual, thanks to my reviewers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, Shawna-xo, and JessesLatinaQuerida. Ya'll rock.

-888-

Sitting at my vanity, I stared blankly into the mirror, staring at, myself. My hair was sitting upon my shoulder, and my hand grasped my hairbrush, yet I did nothing. I could not get Jesse out of my thoughts. All day today, I kept seeing him in places where he wasn't at. When I went into town with mother, I thought I saw him at the corner of a street, but then I blinked and it was someone else entirely. A while after, I saw him inside the tailor's shop, his back facing me, the man turned around and it was not Jesse. 'Seeing' him only made me think of him more. I could not stop my memories from spinning around Jesse.

_Why can't it be Jesse I have to marry instead?_ I found myself thinking, and my cheeks flushed, even though no one could ever hear that thought. My mother noticed that I was very distracted today, so rather than helping her out downstairs, she sent me to my room. Being by myself, with no distractions, my mind cluttered even more with all thoughts on Jesse. He has this effect on me, and he is so captivating. I don't know how long ago my mother had sent me up to my room, but it did seem to be quite a while. When my gaze averted from the mirror at last, I noticed the sun going back down. A day ago, at this time, I had been on my secret cove with Jesse-the only other person I can think of that knows of the place. Hopefully Paul will never know about it.

I stood from my vanity, my hand lifting from the brush and I walked to my window. Setting my hands on the ledge, I leaned over the window and my face touched the cool night air outside my window. I opened my eyes, and I could see the glimmering ocean far off, just like it did every day. Enthralled with the view, I did not notice the carriage that pulled up the house beneath my window. When I heard that voice, I knew who exactly the carriage belonged to.

"Ah, Susannah, eagerly expecting my arrival I see? I knew you'd come around soon enough," his voice was laced with all the smugness that only a jerk like himself can utter.

His voice alone could've been enough to cause me to fall over the window ledge if I didn't have my grasp on it, as it chills me to the bone every time I hear it. I withdrew myself from the window, taking one last look in the mirror, and headed downstairs when I heard the front door creak to a close. At the top of the stairwell I could see Paul standing, his poise making his seem grand and significant. Only Paul will let himself into the house of another and stand in a way that clearly says: 'I am so much better than you.'

"Suze, I knew you would be expecting me. But waiting for me leaning out your window, that is just a little too overzealous, don't you think?" His arms were perfectly folded across his perfect chest over his perfect clothes. Paul is so far from perfect, but everything else about him… well, it's _perfect. _How can it not be? His family is, after all, the richest in all of Carmel.

Jesse, though, his family is also very wealthy, they own the largest ranch, but Jesse doesn't go around flaunting everything he's got. Jesse is very modest in the way he is. He doesn't make those around him fell less and inferior.

"As if I would ever want you, Paul. I already know that at the end of this week, our marriage will be off. I only agreed to this so my step-father could get some justice out of this. He _never_ should have made this decision for me." I eyed him down icily, his blue eyes looking back longingly at me. He is so impossible!

I took a step towards him, standing only inches away from him. "Get it through your big head, Slater," my finger was pointing madly at his head, "You and I will never be together."

Before I had a chance to back away, his hands clutched at my elbows, drawing me in closer to him. I struggled in his grip, trying my hardest to wrench away, to no avail. His head lowered into the crook between my neck and shoulder, his breath tickling the exposed skin. His breathing heavy and labored, he plunged his mouth onto my neck. I shuddered at the sensation, actually _enjoying_ it, and I didn't struggle anymore. His lips trailed across my neck, and when he got to my ear, he nibbled at it. That one action jolted me back into reality, and I realized that I _let_ Paul kiss me along my neck. I shuddered again, this time not from joy. With all the strength I could muster, I finally pushed him away and quickly took all the steps back I could before he reached out and took me back in.

"Paul, don't do that, _again,_" I hissed the last word with venomously.

The cocky jerk smirked at my half-threat. "I know you enjoyed it, Suze. Stop fighting with me and yourself, because deep down, you know you enjoyed it. And if you could get over this supposed hate of yours, you could feel that and much, much more…" his voice trailed off seductively.

The pig! Does he not know how to treat woman? No respected gentleman in his right mind should ever say such a thing to a woman. "You," I hissed, "are a pig. And I will never enjoy anything you can offer me!" I stomped back up the stairs, not even knowing why I had come down in the first place.

The last thing I heard as I slammed my door was, "I wouldn't mind the mud so much as long you're in it with me," and then a chuckle. A sick, demented chuckle, reverberating through my walls, through my ears, through my mind, I could hear it right outside my door, and I prayed to God that I'd had enough sense to lock it behind me. As I checked to see, the knob slowly started turning. I panicked, I didn't lock it! Paul was coming in.

He stepped through over the threshold, standing in the doorway, another smirk traced along his perfect delicate features. "Honestly, I expected more of you, a fight. Leading me to the bedroom? Now Suze, someone of such purity such as yourself should not be so… _tempting_." His arms folded over his chest once again, and he leaned against the door frame, a look of pure desire gleaming in his eyes.

I nearly choked when his comment reached my ears, as if the words themselves somehow slithered around my neck, cutting off my breath. "Paul, get out of my room!" I wanted to shout every obscenity that I knew at him, but I restricted myself. I would not stoop to such a low level. I silently cursed him, running those obscenities over and over in my head. He grinned at me from the door, obviously finding the situation rather amusing. "Get out!" My voice pierced through the air, and my finger pointed past him.

How does he respond? He chuckles, dropping his arms from his chest and taking a step in. "I wasn't ever in your room, Suze, I was at the doorway," with each word he took another step towards me. Slow, lingering steps. With each step he took forward, I took one backwards. Eventually, though the wall would block my path and I would not be able to step back further.

I gulped. There was barely any floor space left. "Don't call me Suze… only my friends can call me that."

He chuckled. Again. Its laugh at Susannah day. "If I remember correctly, _Suze_," he enunciated the word with pristine clarity, "I'm the one who first started calling you that. So, that is what I will choose to call you, _Suze_. Besides, if you don't play nice, I met let the world know about your secret." He's already threatened me once with that. Is it possible he might actually _tell_ people that I see dead people? Paul is the type of person that does just as he says, and you never realize until the damage has been caused. But… I'm not the only one, he sees them too. I know he does. Of course, everyone would believe _Paul Slater _over poor little Susannah Simon. God damn him and his family.

"Need I remind you Paul, that unless you've forgotten, the last time I checked, you could too very well see the dead?"

His head threw back in laughter, "Ah, yes that would be true. But who, I ask, would believe you over me? Unless you've forgotten," he mocked my words, "I am Paul Slater, son of Michael Slater, town doctor _and_ local rancher. And who are you? Susannah Simon? Daughter of who… oh that's right, no one would care about your real father or step-father. Either way, you're no one. So, please don't make me laugh." That hurt, it really truly did hurt. I know my family isn't anywhere near as important as his, but doesn't have to go and throw it in my face, that he is supposedly better because of whom he is and where he comes from.

My eyes stung, and I blinked, not wanting to let myself shed any tears in front of this monster of a man. I was pressed against the wall now and Paul was only steps away, a malicious grin plastered on his face. His hands took a hold of my hips and he brought me in closer to him. I breathed in his scent-of sweat, work, wood, horses-all mixing to make an enticing aroma. I don't think anyone knows what Paul really is like… not his family, not my family, not his friends-except for Jesse-no one. They all think he is the ideal son, one to never do any wrong. Is everyone else so blinded by this façade, that they've never seen Paul for who he really is? They still see him as the same sweet eighteen year-old he once was… four years ago.

My hands tugged against his alongside my hips, but his grasp was to firm. "Paul, please don't. Stop it, please." I begged against him as he kept pulling me in closer to him.

"Susie, we're going to be married soon. There's nothing wrong with this," and his lips met mine. The sweet bubbly taste of wine lingered in his mouth as his lips kissed mine intensifying by the second. _I will not allow myself to respond,_ I thought to myself. His lips pressed against mine, but I did not falter, I didn't kiss him back, instead I struggled to get out of his grasp.

"Everything about this is wrong, Paul. Please, let me go!"

"Fine!" he hissed into the air, "If that's what you want, then that's what you get," his hands slid up to my arms and forcefully he shoved me back against the wall. My head thunked against the wall and he retreated out of my room, his footsteps roaring behind him.

"Susie, is everything all right up there?" My mother's innocent sweet voice rang through the air.

Paul beat me to a repines before I even had a chance, "Everything is fine Mrs. Ackerman. Susannah simply stumbled over her own feet. That daughter of yours can be quite graceless," a kind chuckle erupted from his lips, as if this were funny, but I could here the malevolent off tones. My mother, sadly chuckled lightheartedly with him

"Oh, if only you knew, mother. If only you knew." I whispered into the air, my voice being carried away into the emptiness of my room.

"Will you be staying for supper, Paul? We have more than enough if you would like to." My mother asked Paul. I desperately hope he says no. _Reject the offer, Paul_ I willed with my mind.

"I'd love too," came his cheery response. Imbecile.

For the next half hour or so, Paul kept his distance; that is until I was called down for dinner. His head poked through my doorway, and he looked at me a moment before speaking, as if contemplating whether to apologize or not. Of course, expecting an apology of any sort was just an expectation, nothing more. "Supper is ready," and he retreated away from my room

As I headed away from my room, my brother-step brother-David headed out of his room, too. "Susannah, what is the matter? You don't look to happy," the poor kid, he's so sweet with his red hair and freckles, why should I taint his mind with what is bothering me, he doesn't need to know.

"Nothing, David. I'm just thinking, that's all." I pulled the little guy into me, my arm around his shoulders and we headed into the dining room together, my arm still lovingly draped over his shoulder. Paul glared at us, and I noticed the he was sitting right next to my usual spot at the table. So perfect. Not.

Supper, was abnormally long today, with the addition of Paul as he tried to sweet talk my family. Through out the whole meal, he did not stay quite. He complimented my mother ruthlessly on the meal, he asked my father about his business, conversed with my two step brothers, Jake and Brad, about what is going on in their life, and with David about how his schooling is going, him being the smartest of the Ackerman-Simon children. So, my family, I can easily say are very well charmed with Mr. Paul Slater and his good-looking, good-boy ways. Why am I the only one who can see beyond this? Why?

This is only going to make it harder when I tell my father that I do not intend to carry on with the marriage to Paul. There is just no way.

I ticked off the days I would have to spend with Paul, two down, four long miserable ones yet to come. I can not wait. Worst of all, I won't see Jesse because of Paul.

-888-

Chapter four to be posted sometime soon, I hope.


	4. Traitorous Mouth

Here is chapter 4 of Love and Marriage.

I've decided to title my chapters, no particular reason though.

A thanks to my reviewers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, Daddys Little Baby Girl, and JessesLatinaQuerida

Hope you enjoy! R&R

-888-

Everyday I've spent with Paul is hell on earth. I am now more convinced than ever that this marriage will _never _work. It just can't. I mean, he's _Paul Slater. _And Paul Slater is not of the noble husband variety. He doesn't care for me. And _I_ don't care for him. A marriage can't work if neither parties involved don't care for one another. These last four days, I made sure that every time we were together we would be in the public eye. So if he tried anything-which he didn't-everyone would see. I know he was dying inside just to kiss me again, but I could not fathom the thought of his lips pressed up against mine. The thing with Paul is, he doesn't just kiss, he tries pushing you for more. So yeah, occasionally his lips would meet my cheeks but I'd turn around just as fast as his lips came.

Every day he would come with a sealed carriage, his mighty stallion bringing up the front. And everyday I'd reject the offer of riding in his carriage, saying I could ride my own horse. The annoyance that showed through on his gorgeous face made it worth it every time I declined his offer. He argued that woman shouldn't ride horses, that it isn't proper. Only hearing these words coming from his mouth seemed utterly ridiculous, he doesn't know the first thing about women, yet alone what it is to be expected of us.

At last, though, the grand ball arrived; the celebration of his father's 50th birthday, and when the announcement whether our marriage is to happen or not will be made official. Of course, anyone who is anyone has asked me what my final decision is, but I refuse to tell until the gala. Leave Paul feeling a little hopeful… since I am everything he wants and more.

I suffered enough this week, I don't need to add unneeded suffering. For the occasion, the Slater's insisted on buying me a grand emerald velvet dress-I can't imagine the disappointment when I turn down their generous offer to be the beloved wife of one very kind and caring Paul Slater.

Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me. I never used to be a sarcastic type.

I changed into my dress. It is a bit too much form my likes, but they insisted, so I suppose I have to wear it. And it is pretty; it's just not the general style I'm fond of. The bodice though is amazing, and I would truly love this dress if it weren't for the three tiered skirt that went all around me in a circle. I fluffed the tips of my hair with my fingertips, and I was ready to leave. Everyone but Andy had left in a carriage, he simply had to wait for me, so we could walk in together, hand in hand as the guests of honor.

From outside the banquet hall, voices rang across the now deserted town. Most of the shop owners had all been invited, therefore closing their business early. Those who weren't invited stayed at home, seeing as there was nothing going on in the town other than the ball. These things, in my opinion, are ridiculous. I always think of fairy tales when these things happen, and I can't imagine myself living a fairy tale. I just simply can't. Andy stepped out from the carriage, extending his hand t mine and helping me out. I got out from the carriage, and with Andy leading me, we proceeded to the entrance. I could seem father standing at the doorway, smiling brightly at me. "Follow your heart," he whispered before dematerializing. Where had I heard those words? They rang through my ears, but I shrugged the thought away and finally went through then entrance. Everyone stopped-at us- and waited until we reached the center of the ball underneath the great chandelier.

A soft song started up, and Andy led a dance, moments too soon later, Paul took over and the crowd eventually started up dancing again. "You look amazing, Suze," his voice drawled into my head, "Have you made your decision?"

"Yes."

Seconds passed, and I didn't elaborate. "Which would be?"

"I've made my decision, Paul, and you will know when the announcement is made just like everyone else." He smiled knowingly, as if I had just agreed to marry him. The music came to a stop and we broke apart. I, being all womanly-like, excused myself, and got as far as possible from the clutches of Paul Slater.

Then I saw _him_ and my I froze. My heart sped up, my breathing labored. What was _he_ doing here? Then I remembered, he still communicated with Paul occasionally, so of course he'd been invited. But I couldn't help but notice the woman whose arm so carelessly came around his. She was so pretty, far prettier than I, and much more put together. The way she held herself, you could tell she came from an important family. At that moment, however, Jesse chose to look up, as if he could feel my gaze penetrating him, and smiled at me. And… he excused myself and started in my direction.

I panicked, so I turned away. Whatever feelings I held for Jesse were unrequited. I'd been a foolish girl. Of course he didn't like me… not the way I liked him, anyway. Then it became clear… he had mentioned a girl named Maria, who he was being forced in to marrying as well. I stopped again, and turned around, watching him going through groups of people to reach me. At last, he finally caught up.

"Hello, Susannah. I thought you hadn't seen me at first. You're quite hard to catch, you know that." He smiled that seductively sweet smile.

"Well, actually, I thought I saw Paul talking with you so I turned away from you. Then I saw Paul clearly ahead of me and I stopped, realizing how silly this really is," I lied. I never lie, I promise. It's not right. Which is why I hate my ability so much, I can't tell anyone-except Paul.

He nodded, taking in my lie. I hate lying so much. "So I take it you will after all not agree to go through with this marriage?"

"No, I will not. But, please don't tell. I have not told anyone yet." He smiled knowingly. Taking my hand in his, he pulled me in closer, bringing his other hand to the arch at my back.

"Dance with me, _querida,_" my mouth uttered no response, but I obliged. Quite willingly, too. The hand that was not in his went to rest above his shoulder as we danced to the gentle music playing. I don't know how much time we actually danced for-though, since four songs had played and ended, I had an appropriate estimate-when someone interrupted Jesse and I's dancing.

"Susannah, I've been looking for you," Andy's firm grip tightened on my shoulder and he pulled me away from Jesse, "I need to know your decision."

My eyes darted to Jesse, who nodded, willing me to speak. "Andy, I-I've…" Just then Paul showed up.

"So, Suze, what's it going to be? Am I going to be your husband?" Never!

"Um, actually," three sets of eyes looked at me expectantly; each set for a different reason. This marriage meant everything to Andy-he'd so keenly told me all the advantages over the union of the Ackerman-Slater family, how beneficial it would be to us. Paul-he just _wanted_ it for no other reasons than himself. And Jesse, he wanted-well… I don't know what he wanted-but a deep down I know he didn't want this to happen as much as I did. It must be our mutual disdain for Paul. Which is exactly why I was utterly and horribly shocked when I said, "Yes. I'll give my consent towards this marriage, Andy, Paul." Paul's lips formed into his ever so arrogant smile; Andy nodded, content, and left to inform Mr. Slater I'm sure; and Jesse… his reaction hurt. A cold glint came over his eyes but it was gone as soon as it came and he turned on his heel, leaving me behind with the likes of Paul Slater himself.

There must be something deeply, deeply horribly wrong with me. There just has to, I mean I agreed to marriage _with_ Paul Slater. "I knew you'd make the right decision, Suze. After all, no one can resist me or my charm, as you just so proved, Susannah." A smile played on his lips

I nodded blankly, and stuttered, "Excuse me… um, please," and I pushed past him, going in the direction I'd seen Jesse go. I found him outside, sitting out by a tree outside, his eyes closed. In the faint moon light, I had barely seen him, but I'd noticed a dark outline near the tree and I knew it was him. As I approached, I stepped quietly, carefully. "Jesse?" I called out, my voice weak.

"Yes, Susannah? What do you want?" He hissed with such venom I didn't know he had in him.

"Um, Jesse. I want to apologize-" he cut me off.

"For what, Susannah? For making me foolishly believe that you would really leave Paul Slater. Well, you had me fooled, I really hadn't thought you would actually _agree_ to this, but of course, such a thing is preposterous when said thing involves Paul Slater. I really thought you understood-my strong dislike for him, the way he treats women-but I guess I was wrong. How much else was a lie, Susannah?" I felt my eyes start to prickle; Jesse was furious _at_ me, and it hurt. Worst of all, he accused me of _lying_.

"Jesse, I never lied. I promise, I didn't. I panicked, I was ready to say no, then he showed up, and I panicked, before I knew it, I had agreed."

"Save it, Susannah. You don't need to explain or apologize yourself, nor make up excuses, it's all lost. Whatever trust I had in you. It's my fault for having been a fool, for believing and trusting you with things I never would have otherwise told anyone." And just like that Jesse left. No second glances, no nothing. He left me, and I was stuck in a situation that had no redemption, what was done, was done. I had consented, and now I'm going to have to live with those consequences.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. Everything following my confrontation with Jesse did not seem important enough to occupy my mind. In a way, Jesse was right, I had led him to believe something, and I had done that because I believed it myself, but it still didn't make it right. I'd hurt him, and that is all I could think about. How I had, in a sense, betrayed him. No one deserves to be a victim to betrayal, especially not Jesse.

In my bedroom, changed out of my dress and in my sleeping gown, I laid in my bed, the tears streaming down my face. I'd betrayed myself too. Now I was going to have to _marry _Paul, all because I could not keep my thoughts in order.

A gentle glow slowly filled the darkness of my bedroom, lighting it up with a surreal glow, a light so bright in the consuming darkness. "Dad," I whispered into the air.

"Susannah," he sat on the edge of my bed, his warm hand resting gently on my cheek, stroking it, wiping away at my tears. "Sweetie that is not what I meant by following your heart. In fact, I don't even think you followed your heart. You want to tell me what happened?"

I sniffed, there was no denying it, I was truly distraught. And I really needed a shoulder to cry on, even if said shoulder belonged to one of the dead. The owner of the shoulder though is my father, so it is quite alright. "_Daddy_," I cooed, I'd been about five when I'd last called him 'Daddy' "I don't know what happened. I was completely prepared to tell Andy to call the whole thing off and when Paul showed up, my brain stopped functioning and…. And I… I agreed to the marriage I gave Andy my consent to pursue it I don't know how or why but my mouth spoke for itself agreeing for me even when I so thoroughly thought it through that I did not want to marry Paul God I know I don't want to marry Paul I've known it all along but that still didn't stop me I said yes and that's all that matters I now have to stick with my decision because of my traitorous mouth Daddy," his finger rose to my lip, hushing me.

"Susannah," he chuckled bemusedly, "You're babbling, but I managed to get the important details." His lips brushed my forehead and as usual, he didn't say goodbye, simply dematerializing.

Needless to say, I did not sleep that night. I absolutely could not. Jesse will probably never speak to me again. My father disappeared when I needed him. On top of all that, I am now officially betrothed to Paul Slater. Life works in such marvelous ways. Again, the sarcasm, when will it end? All sarcastic thoughts seem to follow any thoughts relating to Paul… maybe there is some sort of connection there.

-888-

Please don't hate me! I really never meant for Suze to _actually_ say yes! My fingers have betrayed me! I swear! When I got to that part, I stopped thought it over, and I was thinking NO! NO! NO! But my fingers typed yes! But, I will think my way out of the situation, since ultimately I want this to be J/S all the way.

Now, be now be the sweet little things you are and press the purty purple review button… please?


	5. Good Night, Querida

Here is chapter 5 at last. Hope you all like it.

A thanks to my reviewers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, tokengirl, JessesLatinaQuerida, Daddys Little Baby Girl, PixiePam, shawna-xo. You guys rock!

Disclaimer: Don't own Suze, Jesse, or Paul. A shame it is. On the plus side, I do own the plot! Whooppee for me…. I still don't own Suze, Jesse or Paul… grrr

Now on with the show!

-888-

I never dreamt it would be this way, I made a mistake, and now I've lost all my chances to go back. I wasn't prepared then and I am certainly not prepared now. What have I done? How could I let it happen? In a short, yet seemingly eternal two weeks, I will no longer be Susannah Simon. No, I'll be Susannah Slater. That name does not sound like it could possibly ever be my own. How could it? I don't love Paul, and despite how often arranged marriages happen, one should have the choice to marry whom they choose, not who their parents choose. Because if this decision were up to me, I can certainly say that I would never be Susannah Slater, but I am going to be her, I wonder if she will be different from me, Susannah Simon.

I mean, she has to be different from me, she obligingly agreed to marry Paul Slater, something I would _never_ do. Maybe this Susannah Slater is already taking over me, controlling me from the inside. Because I was certainly not in my right mind when I told Andy and Paul and Jesse, that yes, I would marry Paul. The thought is just _preposterous¸ _but, if it is so preposterous, then how come it is happening?

I feel as if I could wake any moment now. This is not happening. "Susie! You have a visitor!" My mother's cheery voice rang through the walkway. I groaned to myself. It is! It is happening! How? Why? Won't Paul ever just leave me alone?

Grudgingly, I lifted myself from my bed, smoothing down the sides of my skirt. The descent from the stairs was slow and unhurried, the longer it took to stay away from Paul. For this reason I did not realize that my visitor was someone else. When I reached the landing, I didn't look up to face my visitor, so when that smooth voice rang out across the room to where I was standing, to say I was stunned would most definitely be an understatement. My ears easily recognized the owner of the voice and my gaze lifted to assure that it was Jesse standing there.

"Jesse?" I asked dumbly. I needed the confirmation.

"Susannah," he stated, answering for me that he is Jesse. "I need to speak to you," his voice lingered, hesitant. "Do you mind?" Do _I _mind? Of course not.

"No, Jesse, I don't. I think we need to speak as well, over our misunderstanding."

His head went up and down, a half nod of some sort. "Yes, the misunderstanding. But… not here. Out at the cove." With no other words, he turned around and went back out the door, leaving the door, I'm assuming, for me to follow. I did. He got his horse and pulled him along as I went to the stables to get my own.

After an insufferable silence, we finally reached the beach. Quietly, we climbed up through the stairs into the cove over looking the whole of the ocean. Taking a deep breath, I took in the scent of the salty ocean air, enjoying the way the smell was everywhere. As is usual, I sat at the long extended rock and Jesse joined me.

For what must have been an eternity, we sat not saying a word each. My mind was racing, storming. I've no idea why he asked me to come here, and he is in no hurry to explain to me. Maybe I should speak first? If it weren't for my idiocy, neither of the two of us would even be here.

I opened my mouth to speak, but at that moment, Jesse turned to face me and spoke first. "Susannah, I'm still not sure what happened last night, and it got even more so confusing once we parted ways. You're father, he came to me…" Andy? He does not know I'm even in relations with Jesse…? "It was late at night, and I'd been reading the last bit I could before my candle went out when he showed up." My dad _dad?_ "It's funny really, he spooked me. He said your name simply, and that was all it took to frighten me. Never had I been spooked by a…" he hesitated, picking out his words carefully probably, "Ghost." The word hung in the air, building a tension impenetrable by outside forces.

So, Jesse could see ghosts, I could too. He admitted this truth to me, barely even knowing me, when I had never _ever_ told anyone about this. Paul is merely a fluke, he found out on his own. What do I say? Share my deepest secret with a man I barely knew, yet found myself to care deeply about? His opinion of me mattered. A lot. And the fact that he thought of me as some untruthful person, deceitful, I couldn't handle it. I need to let him know about my abilities… but I have _never_ told anyone. I can't just tell him? _He just told you. Fair's fair._ The thought rang across my mind as if an outside voice.

"Jesse-" my voice croaked, nervously. I swallowed, and opened my mouth to speak, the words lingering on the tip of my tongue, "My dad went to you?" Well, that is not the truth I had wanted to admit, though it will have to do for now.

"Yes." His deep voice rang out.

I waited expectantly for him to continue, when he didn't, I sighed. "Wha…what did he say?" It's strange how such a situation I have tried avoiding my whole life finally surfaced, in the most unexpected manner. I never thought someone else would figure it out themselves, and if I ever did, I thought I'd have to do a whole lot of explaining, so far though, there's been none of that.

"He said you made a grave mistake, it was completely unintentional, not thought out. He said you were beating yourself over it. I don't believe you would go as far as to actually hit yourself, but I got the general idea. Just before he dematerialized, I asked who he was, by then he was gone, though. I stayed up the whole night trying to figure out who he was, and finally, I realized he was your real father. I remember seeing him that first day we met, I saw him and he saw me, or so I think, and then dematerialized. When I remembered that, I knew he was your father." So far, he had said this with no tone whatsoever, flatly and plainly. "So, my question is: why did you say yes? What happened?" I swear for a second I saw a glint of hope in his eyes, although as soon as it had come it left.

I let out a breath I realized I had been holding for a while now. "I told you, I panicked last night when I was asked. When Andy first came, I was about to say yes, though, since Paul chose that minute to come up to me I said yes. Something overcame me and I had spoken before even realizing what I had said. Jesse, I… I-I never meant for me to hurt you. As I said, something overcame me."

"I know, _querida_, I know that now." He took hook my hand in his. This is the first time my skin has ever come in contact with his, and just the feel of his hand alone sent warm chills up my spine. "You can thank your father, if you'd like."

"Yeah, I think I will." I smiled at him, loving the way his thumb was gently rubbing at my hand, caressing it with sweet care. "How did you figure out I could see him? That I could see… ghosts in general?"

"I to took me a while, but he kept saying that you had told him everything he told me. At first I didn't hear that part and as I replayed the conversation over and over in my head, I realized you told him everything directly, and he passed the information on to me. Susannah, I know how you feel about your-our abilities. I've had them my whole life, too. I never wanted anyone to know for fear that I'd be disowned by my family and friends, so I knew exactly why you wouldn't ever tell me. Honestly, I would never have told you either had your father not come to me. When I realized you had the same abilities, I only figured it would be fair. Since I was sure I knew you secret, I thought it would only be fair otherwise for you to know. I hope I can restore my trust in you if you hold my secret like you have held yours your whole life."

I listened to all this intently, a small smile finally forming. His hand was still on mine. "Of course I won't ever tell anyone, Jesse."

"Good. Thank you." His calloused hand freed mine, much to my chagrin. Lazily, he looked out into the ocean, his eyes drifting. We sat in silence together, I watching the waves as they lapped in crushing the shores beneath us, he: his eyes never leaving the distance ahead.

It seems like all had been forgiven, everything solved. Except for, of course, the biggest problem ahead: I have to marry Paul Slater.

I heard Jesse sigh, snapping me out of my reverie. His eyes were locked on me intently, and he was muttering quite incoherent words to himself, probably in Spanish since I could not understand a word of them. "Excuse me for being so… so unchaste," he muttered at last. I didn't quite here what he said, and as I was going to ask him to repeat himself, his lips met mine and it was perfect bliss. Not anything like the feel of Paul's lips against mine.

He broke away moments later, standing and going near the edge of our vantage spot, leaning against a rock wall behind him. He sighed, turning away, not even looking at me. "Susannah… I am sorry I didn't mean for th-that to happen." He muttered more incoherent things to himself, all the while I found myself reliving the memory of his lips against mine. I had loved it, every last part of it and my body-more like my lips-ached for more. Maybe this is how Paul feels every time he finds someone to kiss, he has a desire to feel the lips of another's against his. "Jesse, don't. Don't apologize, I mean."

He looked up, stopping his inane muttering, "But I have to Susannah. I have dishonored you as a lady, as a woman set to marry another man, a man who so happens to be an old friend. So, yes Susannah, I have to apologize. I knew all of that and yet I could not contain myself. A true gentleman would never act in such a manner."

I smiled, I don't know why, but it seemed like the thing to do. He was being so sweet about the whole thing. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the kiss, because I did, very much so, in fact. And I'm sure he did too, yet he was apologizing for something so nice, something that truly had not offended me at all. This only caused me to realize how wrong Paul really is for me. He always tries to kiss me and I never enjoy it, making me feel offended in some way and never ever does he apologize.

A silence filled the air, Jesse, still not in reaching distance of me, and me sitting on the giant rock I've always loved to sit on, to clear mind. I _tried_ to clear my mind right, so many things happening, nothing making sense. For a split second, I wished this place could all just be mine again, that I didn't have Jesse to share it with now. Truth is, Jesse has always known about it, and it never really was just mine or my father's, it was also Jesse's, and probably somebody else that I don't know. That is why I _tried_ to clear my mind, but thoughts kept coursing through my mind, not letting me find peace.

When Jesse kissed me, all these troubling thoughts had ceased to exist, but the moment he apologized, they all came stumbling back, crushing in with more strength.

"Jesse, I would like to go home now," I stated simply. I didn't wait for his response, just started climbing back do to my horse. Moments later, he showed up behind me, mounting his own horse as I did mine. He followed me home, and parted the minute we reached the fence to my house, not having spoken a word. That is, until he said, "Good night, _querida_." With that one word, all my troubles disappeared again. Something about it put me to ease, and though I didn't quite understand how or why, I felt myself liking the feeling.

-888-

I still don't know how I'm gonna get the Suze out of the marrying Paul thing, so this chapter was just kind of to fill up the time, but I'm sure each and every one of you will be satisfied with what happened in it. Paul will be in the next chapter, whether I think of a solution to their problem…. Well, who knows. Hopefully something will come to me.

Read and review, my dearies!


	6. Consequences

Here is chapter six, at last. I believe this is the longest I've ever taken to post a chapter…. But school _has_ started and it has _only_ been like six days, so still a fairly quick update.

Thanks to my reviwers, again. This is the most reviews I have ever gotten and I feel so special! Yay me!

So, my reviewers: Pixie Pam, DARKrosePRINCESS, black-rose-xo, TinkerBells magic, JessesLatinaQuerida, and Sunshine418, you guys ROCK

Disclaimer: Eh, Meg Cabot owns the Mediator and all its characters, blah, blah, blah, blah… you guys know the drill.

So, without further ado, Chapter 6: Consequences

-888-

"Susie, come in here and help me with the cleaning," my mother stood at the window overlooking our yard and into the stables. I groaned inwardly. I didn't want to have to clean; I just wanted to spend all day grooming Shadow.

"I'll be back, Shadow," I cooed into his ears, petting his mane one last time before stalking off. "Coming," I yelled back, and my mom retreated from the window. When I walked in the door, my mother stood at the entrance, a feather duster in tow and several rags, smiling at me sheepishly.

"Susie, honey, I know you don't like to clean, but it has got to be done, and I am quite busy right now, working on other things, so please can you do it for me?" I nodded, since the way I figured it, I did not have much of a choice on the matter. If I did not agree to the dusting and what not, then surely I would be assigned to garden work, which is worse, having to be outside in the sun. "Good girl," she chimed and headed outside, picking up her vegetable basket.

At some point, amidst the dusting and cleaning and all that un stuff that pertains to keeping a home tidy, Paul showed up, making my delightful day all the better. If you have not realized this now, I was _not _enjoying cleaning, nor was I enjoying the fact that Paul decided to grace me with his presence; I could do much without.

"I like to see that you can maintain things around the house, Su-u-sie," he drawled my name in an infuriating sing-song voice, his lips curling into that despicable smile of his.

"Great," I muttered under my breath. "What do you want?" My mother says I can be hot-tempered at times, but I don't think she's ever realized that I'm only hot-tempered when Paul tries to make nice with me. Not that he ever could. Make nice, I mean. Paul is just not the type to excuse himself for his actions, and until the he shows any remorse for his actions, I will continue to believe that he is the vile creature I believe him to be.

"Can I not come and visit with my wife-to-be," his head bowed, as if some noble gesture of some sort. Inside, I seethed, wishing he'd just leave.

"No, you can not. New rules: you are _not_ to see the dearly beloved until the day of the ceremony. How does that sound to you? I have absolutely no problem with it."

His head shook in mock annoyance, a subtle smile playing at his lips. "Is that what you really want, because I know that deep down, you won't be able to stay away long enough from me. I mean, you had every chance to say that you did not want to marry me, and you even told me so, but yet, here we are, to be married in…" he counted his fingers, "Oh, yes, four weeks. If you wanted me to leave you alone, _Suze, _you should have just said no to the whole thing. Now you will suffer the consequences of your decisions. And don't even try to get out of this marriage of ours, or I _will_ tell everyone your little secret." He strode towards the door, stopping with his hands on the knob, ready to twist, "Like I said, you shall suffer the consequences," Any trace of a smile left his lips and he looked deathly seriously, "Have a good day, Susie." The smile returned to his face and he left.

Relieved, and somewhat distraught, I sighed, sitting back on a chair behind me. The duster fell to my side, and I didn't care… I really am in trouble. Outweighing my troubles, I realized, that yes, they are both bad. Anyone could figure that out, of course. But, the more I thought about it, I realized which I would be willing to endure, and as much as I'd hate it, I wouldn't mind the possibility that my secret could leak out into the world, anything, and I mean _anything_ is better than being with Paul forever.

My mother came in, humming merrily to herself, her basket filled to the brim with greens. "Susannah, honey, have you finished?"

A stifled grunt was my response, and she sighed, putting her basket down by her feet. "Susie, what's bothering you?" She looked genuinely concerned, and as much as I wanted to tell her, I thought it best to not trouble her with my dilemmas, there is nothing she can do anyway. "Does it have to do with Paul, by any chance? I've heard the two of you arguing quite a bit these past couple weeks… I'm not saying that I heard you two today, but I have in the past."

I looked up into her deep brown eyes, the worry expressing itself. At least someone had noticed my unhappiness, I thought… perhaps there is a chance she could do something about it. After thinking it over, I nodded my head, agreeing. "Yes, ma," and then, before I knew it, I told her everything, not realizing it, much like I had agreed to the marriage. "Ma, I really do not want to marry Paul. I understand that I am of a decent age to marry, and that Paul, in the eyes of most qualifies a certifiable young gentleman, but no one knows him like I do, and I know that his image is nothing but a façade. I despise him, and I really do not want to marry him. I agreed before I even knew what I was saying and by that point it was too late to go back on my word." I felt tears starting to prick at my eyes, and I blinked, struggling to suppress my tears. "I really don't want to, ma." My knees rose to my chest, and I hugged them close to me, resting my head atop my arms. My eyes closed, though tears, despite how much I fought them back, continuously flowed, streaming my cheeks.

"Oh, honey, Susie," my mother's arms came around me, hugging me tightly, and rocking me gently, "If you really don't want to marry him, why didn't you just say so earlier? I'll talk with your step-father about this. I know he'll be disappointed, but neither he nor I can make you do something you really don't want to." Her embrace, so tight and comforting, at last undraped my shoulders, and surprisingly I did feel better. My mother loved me, and she would take care of my problems, or so I hope. Of course, if she does find a way to get me from not marrying Paul, then the rest of the world will know my secret, including my mother, who I have never told. Perhaps I will tell her, that is, if she is successful in freeing me.

-888-

Not an hour had passed since Paul had left. After my tears were cleared, I went back outside, to tend to Shadow, who patiently waited for me at his stall, I'd been brushing his mane, when in the distance I heard the patter of feet ambling across the dirt path in my way. The sound of feet increased, and I saw Jesse approaching the barnyard, his own horse in the distance. Immediately I smiled, though he couldn't see it and my heart thumped just that little bit faster. Just yesterday, I'd felt his soft warm lips against my own, and I found myself wishing that action could repeat itself later. But by the way Jesse had reacted, I'm sure he won' try and kiss me again soon.

"Susannah, good afternoon." His hand was waving at me in the air, and I stood, placing Shadow's brush on the floor and patting him before leaving to join Jesse.

"Hello to you, Jesse." I smiled at him.

"Hello. Susannah, I've been thinking, about yesterday, and once again, I am sorry. But, I haven't had a chance to stop thinking about it. I want to talk about it with you, so can you accompany me into town right now? So we can talk somewhere?" My eyes brightened, anytime spent with Jesse was so much better than being at home.

"Of course," I smiled at him, and turned back into the stable to get my horse, moments later joining with him. "Can you give me a moment, though? I need to tell my mother I will be out. So she doesn't worry."

"Oh, yes. Go ahead. I'll be waiting here."

Smiling like a foolish ninny, I made my way inside. "Ma?" I waited for a response, and when her voice rang out with a 'yes' I resumed, "I'm riding into town. I will be back in a while." At that moment, she decided to show up, glancing out the window.

"Who is that out there?" She asked, her gaze locked on Jesse.

"That would be a friend, mother. His name is Jesse."

"Hmm, I've seen him around here before Susannah. How long have you known him?"

"A while," I answered, vaguely.

"Hmm, well, don't be late for supper."

I strode back to where Jesse waited, and mounted my horse, Jesse graciously helping me up.

Moments later, side by side, we headed off in the direction of the town centre. Jesse commented on how he thinks his cousin, Maria, the girl he is to marry could possibly be involved with another man. Diego, I think Jesse had said the man's name was.

What I do not understand is how, both Jesse and I, completely innocent of anything and everything can possibly both be in such awkward situations. Neither of us deserves this. We never did anything to condemn ourselves to such a terrible reality. I mentioned this to Jesse and a sweet chuckle erupted from within.

"I don't know, _querida_, seems like we are in quite a situation." His eyes brightened some what. "Susannah…. Don't you…" his voice trailed off, and gently he shook his head, deciding against whatever he was going to say.

"Don't I… what, Jesse?" I tried prying, but he shook his head, mumbling a never mind.

A couple seconds went by, a silence filling the space between us, separating us. Eventually, though, we resumed talking, I breaking the silence. "Jesse, if you be anything or do anything, what would you be or do?" For the longest time, I have suspected that he does not want to spend the rest of his life working on his family's ranch… through our conversations, I have noticed his voice always drop when he talks about ranch work, and I just have a feeling, deep down that that is not what he wants to do.

His gaze didn't turn to me; his eyes were locked on an object far away. Finally, though he sighed and opened his mouth, "I would be a doctor," he said quietly, solemnly. "But, it is something I know will never happen," his tone of voice unveiled a sense of defeat, one he had come to accept.

"Why not?" I hadn't meant to ask, the question just escaped from my lips.

"Because I'm the only boy in my family, and I need to take over the ranch once father is too old." He sighed, his gaze still locked on an object far ahead. All I saw were trees. "I've never told anyone, Susannah, that I want to be a doctor," He smiled wryly. "Every time one of my sisters gets a gentle scrape of some sort, or when someone in my family falls ill, I wish that I could be a doctor tending to them. I often do my sisters' bandages, but that's as far as my medical experiences go. Anything of a greater severity is handled by a doctor. An urgency fills me when someone I know is hurt or sick, but like I said, being a doctor is simply something I will never do or be." The gaze that had been permanently locked on something straight ahead finally turned to meet my own. All I saw was a deepness, something so dark, so wistful. His dark eyes held mine, entranced and I could not break away. It was as if through that one look, his eyes could penetrate to regions deep inside me, as if he were staring directly into my soul.

I don't know whatever it is Jesse saw, it must have, however been something good, because he was smiling by the time we broke away.

Jesse instills feelings within me, feelings that seem to have no words. "_Querida,_" his voice a hoarse whisper, "_Te quiero… mucho._"

"What?" I asked, no doubt the confusion shown on my face.

"Nothing, _querida, _nothing," Moments like these that I wish I had acquired knowledge for the Spanish language. That nothing is very much something. You can hear it in the tone of voice he used following the ever wonderful _querida_.

I'd asked him once what querida meant, but he ignored my question. For all I know, he could be calling me ugly… then again, he could be calling me beautiful. There's no way I'll ever know, because I am pretty sure Jesse is not willing to admit the truth.

We reached the town centre, and we dismounted our respective horses, leading them by their ropes. I don't know how long it was, but Jesse and I walked around the town center, talking. He, again apologized for having kissed me the night before, and suffice to say I forgave him, telling him I had not at all minded.

Being within his presence comforted me sincerely and not once did I think of my troubles…

That is until I saw Paul coming around the corner from one of the town streets. The brimming serenity that had held me captive dissipated, flowing away from me. "Jesse, Paul is coming our way," I didn't know whether this was true or not, he hadn't spotted either of us. My stomach tightened and I fought the impulse to purge.

Paul did eventually see us, and no sooner had he spotted us than when he appeared suddenly in front of us.

"Susannah," Paul nodded, the ever formal gentleman. "Jesse, my dear friend. How are the two of you?"

"Greetings, Paul," Jesse exchanged. Jesse did not have to feign innocence, pretending to be a gentleman, sincerely and always, Jesse will be a gentleman.

"Paul," I smiled weakly, remembering his earlier visit.

"What brings the both of you into town today? I wasn't aware either of you were in relations with one another anymore. It's nice, isn't it? The three of us all together again after so many years."

_Lovely_.

"Of course it is," Jesse agreed. I could see however that he struggled with himself to say this.

"Suze," Paul sang in a sweet voice, "What do you think?"

"It's splendid," I choked out, "It really is." I hope the bitterness didn't sound through in my voice. I could feel the falsity of it constricting my throat.

"I'm sure you feel that way," Paul replied, giving me an all knowing smile.

Shitfing his weight from one foot to the other, Jesse cleared his throat and spoke, "I'm sorry to cut this reunion of ours short, but Susannah and I must get going Paul. It was good seeing you," he smiled weakly at Paul taking his hand, shaking firmly. "And congratulations, Paul. Susannah is a wonderful woman," There was nearly no expression on Jesse's face… could he possibly mean it? I felt my heart sank, and my breathing get a little raggedy. Could Jesse really possibly not requite the feelings I have developed so much for him over the past few weeks…?

"Thank you, Jesse. Well, I must get going, too." He began to walk away, but just as he was out of sight, he turned to me, "And Susie, I will tell," it's all he said, and though Jesse's brows furrowed in confusion, I very well knew what he was talking about. And just like that, Paul strode away, no second glances.

-888-

I think I finally know what exactly I wanna do with the Paul thing….. I just need a little more thinking on how exactly I want to get there. Hopefully a completely fab idea will come to me and I will be able to solve it. I'll try and have chappie 7 up within a week!

Read and review, please:)


	7. Murder?

Ok, so here's a quick (short) update. I had some time and I was bored so I thought I'd make a quick, short update for ya'll.

I hope you enjoy it!

As is my custom, thanks to my lovely reviewers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, Mirollie Me, starrynightdreamer, JessesLatinaQuerida, and suze madison. Thanks, guys!

Chapter 7: Murder?

Paul has always been one to ruin a perfectly good mood. After he left earlier today, my mood crumbled and I could not enjoy Jesse's company as much as I would have otherwise. Paul's parting words played over in my head and though I had not thought much of it earlier, I very well believed his threat now.

"Susannah, what did Paul mean, he will tell?" Jesse had questioned as soon as Paul had been out of earshot.

"Nothing, Jesse. He was reminding me of something is all," I lied. I didn't want to, but I just couldn't tell Jesse, I'd have no idea how'd he react. It is a given he hates Paul he needs no more reason to hate him more. Though it would serve Paul right.

"Are you sure?" The concern etched his voice. I nodded, and he sighed letting it go.

It would be nice if Jesse and I could both just flee, leave everything behind. Neither of us wants to get married to our prospective partners, and leaving would solve that. Leaving would also mean leaving behind our families and I don't think I could possibly leave my mother to worry for me. It would hurt too much. This life out here in sunny Carmel is not one made for many. Add the fact that I can very well speak to deceased spirits, and well… it's no good. Not all.

For one second I allowed myself to fancy the idea of marrying Jesse-a preposterous thought, but very nice. We would live out in his ranch, him tending to his horses and crops. I would cook for him the best meals imaginable (a ridiculous idea as my mother has yet to succeed in teaching me) and we would someday have a family. With three, maybe four children. Together, Jesse and I would spend countless evenings out at the cove, watching the sunset, holding each other like there is no tomorrow. That is the life I envisioned myself having when I was but a child. Now that I know Jesse, it seems ever so nicer. Though, deep in my heart I know it can't possibly ever happen. I'm doomed to marry the ever terrible Paul Slater, son to the devil.

Honestly I don't know whether Paul really is or isn't the devil's son, but he might as well be. Son-of-the-devil, it just suits him in so many ways with all of his evil antics. Something only the Devil's son is capable of.

A lone tear trailed down my cheek, thoughts too depressing of my near future. Quickly, before Jesse even had a chance to notice I wiped at it with the back of my hand. My eyes shut tightly and whatever tears had been willing to flow out were pushed back. When I re-opened my eyes, there was no trace of tears left.

Nearing the edges of the town centre, Jesse and I finally reached the end. I must have spent quite a while lost in my thoughts because I had not noticed that we were already to the end. With our horses still trailing behind, Jesse and I both mounted and took the path through the woods that circled the inner town of Carmel.

"Susannah, may I ask what it is on your mind?" I sighed. I didn't want to tell him, trouble him with _my _troubles.

"I was thinking about what Paul said as he left." Jesse turned to look at me, his scarred eyebrow raised, waiting for an explanation. "He's threatening to expose my secret if I don't marry him. He's really being-"

Jesse cut my sentence off, "I won't allow for him to hurt you in anyway. _Querida_, your secret is not one that should be known."

Jesse suddenly made me feel reassured. I can trust him my secret. We are bound by it, and we should help one another to keep it that. A secret, I mean.

"Thank you, Jesse. I appreciate it. Really." My lips curved into the slightest smile.

"Anything for you, _querida_." I turned to look at Jesse; he had muttered it so incoherently that I can not be sure if he actually said anything.

That night, I went to bed, feeling more at ease with myself. My mother had been slightly angered that I had returned after dusk, Jesse still trailing behind me. But despite a few cold stares, she did not fuss on my account. She did, however speak with Andy, who in turn spoke with me.

You want to know what he told me?

I have to marry Paul, unless Paul willingly agrees to not marry me either. As if that will ever happen.

Still, despite that, I did sleep slightly better, knowing Jesse would protect me Paul's cruelty, whatever it is he plans to do.

-888-

Morning came and I went downstairs to eat my morning meal. Andy, surprisingly was still at the table eating his own meal, reading the **Carmel Press. **Normally, I take no interest on the going-ons of Carmel and its society, but the headline caught my attentions. Reading it upside down did not help with my comprehension of it either:_ Eldest Son of the De Silva Family Nearly Murdered_

Eldest De Silva Son… Jesse? My eyes immediately bugged… could it be? No, but who would ever want to _murder_ anyone as caring as _Jesse_?

"A-Andy?" I choked out, and his eyes averted from the newspaper with a questioning glance. "That article… what does it say? About the de Silva boy?"

He looked back down at the paper. Then clearing his throat, his eyes bore into mine, "Well, Susannah, it says that Hector de Silva, was nearly stabbed in the heart last night by a man…" his paper scanned the paper, "Oh, by Felix Diego on the orders of his fiancée Maria de Silva"

Maria? The woman he has to marry? My problems with Paul are ever so minimal in comparison to this. He may be… well, Paul. But never would Paul send for someone to kill me.

"… It does not say why Maria would send this Felix fellow to stab her fiancée, only that she gave the order." Oh dear. Poor, poor Jesse. "They are being taken into custody by the authorities for more questioning as to why they would commit these crimes…"

I've caught bits and pieces of what Andy has said, and for the most part I got the important details. But Jesse? Why him… I know he isn't exactly happy to be marrying Maria but why would she send to kill Jesse? He is about the sweetest mot caring man ever. I certainly wouldn't want to murder Jesse if he were mine.

"Is he fine?" I croaked. "Je-Hector?"

Andy scanned the paper once more, "Yes, he should be. Felix stabbed him on the shoulder, having intended the heart." Andy smiled brightly at me, and through my gloom I managed to force a mile as well.

Having heard the news of Jesse, I lost my appetite and pushed my plate away. I stood from my seat at the table and climbed the stairs to my room, burying my head in my hands, and crying silent tears so as no one to hear.

For the longest time, I cried, trying my hardest to stifle the sobs that threatened to be released from my throat. I cried for minutes on end, and then I heard the one word that caused all of it to stop, "_Querida."_

-888-

When I started typing this, I didn't really know what to do. I wanted to incorporate Maria into the story and then I remembered the whole Felix thing, so that's what I led my chapter too.

Now, please don't kill me for nearly (but not) murdering Jesse.

Review, now. Please and Thank You!


	8. Here With Me

Here is chappie eight! Woot! lol. I wanted so badly so many times to make reference to the Sixth Sense, but somehow, I don't think they quite knew about movies and Bruce Willis in good ole' 1850's California. Gah, I have to keep reminding myself to keep all modern day slang and terms out of the story. It's so, so hard, lol, but I'll cope. I just wanted to get this chapter up before the weekend because I know that if I don't, my next update won't be till like Wednesday or Thursday, and I like updating quickly for you guys. My way of saying thanks! Ya know, for, like reading this and all. I was having a bit of writer's block, not knowing what I wanted to do. And then, I just started typing, and this chapter formed. Go me!

Now, ya'll didn't really think I'd kill Jesse? Pfft, I even said so at the end of the last chappie, so relax, ladies, Jesse's still alive. It'd be suicide to kill Jesse off. I don't think I could handle thatlittle issue coming into the story... So there'll still be little Jessiekins in the story. No fear!

My special reviewees this time around are: Sunshine418, Mrs. Nikki Slater, Chisakami Saiyuki, Little TinkerBell Girl, JessesLatinaQuerida, and tucker529, as well as some anonymous reviewers, thankies so very much! Love ya'll!

Enjoy….. before I forget-**Disclaimer**: Meg Cabot owns the characters and the Mediator in general, this is simply my twist on her existing work. Paul, yeah, he ain't mine, nor Suze, nor Jesse.

Again, enjoy!

**Chapter 8**

Here With Me

My heart sank and my stomach tightened. For reasons that I am sure are justifiable, I thought Jesse had returned as a _ghost. _It's not as if he wouldn't know to come to me seeing as he does know my secret. So I panicked… if Jesse wasn't here on this earth anymore, then what else would be left for me?

Shaking violently I managed to turn on trembling legs, and _thank God_ that Jesse did not have that glow surrounding him. I do not know what I would have done if Jesse would be glowing. Whatever it is, it would not be a sight to see.

"Jesse!" I squealed, relieved.

The perplexed expression on his face indicated that he did not know what was happening to him. His eyes scanned every last inch of his body, searching for an answer as to why e is here. Something I would like to know as well. "Susannah? Que-What happened? Why am I here?" When he stopped checking himself-possibly for a glow-he then went to take in his surroundings-my room. The room my mother decided would look absolutely adorable if upholstered in pink. My cheeks flamed, I could feel it. Maybe Jesse wouldn't notice the pink… and if he did, well I can imagine that my cheeks were about the same color. "Is this your room?" The discomfort rang freely in his voice.

"Uh, ye-this… my room." That was absolutely intelligible. I cleared my throat, my cheeks burning. "Yes, this would be my room. How exactly did you get in? My door was not open, was it?"

The confusion deepened on his face, and his eyebrows furrowed, his chin cupped in his hand as he thought. "You mean you do not know how I got here?"

"Not the slightest idea."

He leaned against the bedpost located behind him, and as his shoulder made contact he winced. My eyes shifted to the source of pain and I could see the sling that suspended his arm in front of him, the white material stained just slightly with something red… blood. His blood. "Are you okay?" I asked, indicating to him arm.

His head nodded in response, though he seemed distant, probably hadn't even heard me. "How did I get here?" He muttered more to himself than to me.

I too wanted to know how he had gotten in my room. Not that I minded. No, quite the contrary. But it was still unnerving to have someone you cared for deeply show up in your all of a sudden. No explanation.

"What were you doing before… you showed up in my room?"

"I had been sleeping. That's the last I remember. So when I found myself here, I thought I… I'd passed." The sudden sadness laced his voice, and I could see why he would be distraught. Thinking yourself dead, I imagine would not be a pleasant feeling.

"That still does not explain why you would suddenly appear in my room," I stated, trying to think of any logical explanation as to why Jesse would have shown up in my room.

He looked down at the ground, and his cheeks were flushed just the slightest bit, "Before I fell asleep," he started, his voice low, "I was thinking of you, Susannah." My heart pumped that much faster when he disclosed this information with me.

The initial distance that had separated us when he first I arrived, I noticed had decreased. We were no more than two feet away now, and I could feel myself swaying a little closer.

Every time I found myself within the presence of Jesse, I wanted to do nothing but wrap my arms around him, to be close to him.

"So," I let my voice trail off a little, "You were thinking of me?" Jesse's hand clutched my elbow and he pulled me into him, wrapping his good arm around me.

"I was so scared, _querida,_ in the barn, he just came out of nowhere, and when I'd finally managed to get rid of him, I couldn't help but think how easily my life had almost ended, and I never would have had the chance to tell those I care about how I feel about them." His face was buried deep within my hair which started to become moistened. I realized Jesse was crying, whether he wanted to let me see or not was for him to decide. I wrapped my arms strongly around him, careful so as not to hurt his shoulder any further.

"Jesse," was my breathy reply, barely audible.

"Susannah, I want you to know more than anyone else that I really, really care about you. More than words can express. I knew it all those years ago, and I know it now. I want you to know, too. If I could, I would do anything for you, but it is not my job. It will be Paul's once the two of you have at last married. Want it or not, Susannah, it is inevitable. You simply can not get out of it," His soft lips came to my forehead, and they rested there for long, sweet seconds. When his lips left my forehead, he added, "That is, unless he has a secret lover who he sends to attempt and murder you," his lips had risen into a genuine smile, and he looked caringly into my eyes, trying to lighten the mood.

"Or maybe," I added, "I'll be the one to send his murderer." Jesse smiled again, and his embrace tightened.

He had, in a sense, just said that he loved me. Or love could be too strong a word for it, but he definitely cared for me in the way I cared for him. It was mutual, what ever it is we have going on. But why, I wondered to myself, can I not tell him how I feel?

Truth be told, I would give anything for Paul to just _die_, a cruel thought, indeed, but if it happened, then all my problems would be solved and Paul would no longer be an issue. Of course, though I could never be as cruel as to actually order someone to murder someone else, even if the someone else in question is none other than Paul Slater.

"Wait… secret lover?" I asked, at last registering the words he'd spoken before my last reply. Was that why Maria had sent that Felix man to kill him? The newspaper had said nothing about why Maria had sent for Felix Diego to come after Jesse.

"Yes, _querida,_ secret lover. Felix Diego and Maria had been having relations far before our marriage was arranged."

My head nuzzled into his chest, "Jesse, I am so sorry…" I couldn't think of anything else to say, and this just sounded right.

"For what? Susannah, you have done nothing to offend me."

"I know… but I'm sorry this happened. To _you,_" I put emphasis on the last word, incredulous that someone could be so, so cruel to someone as sweet and caring as Jesse.

A light chuckle resonated through his chest, "Oh Susannah, don't be ridiculous. I could, after all be dead," I know he'd meant to say in a joking, off-handed way, but I could sense the fear hidden in his tone. He really did believe he would've died.

For a split second, I allowed myself to ponder the thought of Jesse as a ghost, that is, if he were to return as a ghost. He would return as a ghost, and he would watch those he knows and love grow old without him. Something, unbeknownst to him would hold him back, and he would have to watch the people he loves die, eventually. He would probably spend the next few years of his, or rather, his after-life, wandering around the Carmel hills, waiting for that day when he finally realizes what is holding him back. But what if he came to this conclusion to late, and he was condemned to live on this planet for all of eternity? One hundred fifty years from now, if he _had_ died, would he still be here?

I pushed the thoughts from my head as quick as they had come. The point is, what would happen if he had died? I can never know, no one, really. The only other person I have known personally who died was my father. But other than him, all those other souls who have returned, I helped them with their problems and just like that, they were gone, forgotten.

And I realize now, that I could never just help and forget Jesse. It was not that simple. I fear the day my father finally realizes what is holding him on this plane of existence, and losing him second time will be so much harder than the first. Because it will be final then, and I will never see him again.

Maybe this is my true curse in being able to see the dead. As if having to deal with them on a regular basis was not enough, I also have to deal with the spirits of the people I love. Losing someone, I know is never easy. But I am always hopeful that they will return. Like with my father. But when he did return, I was afraid, because I realized he would eventually return. I'd been frightened the first time around, because he had not shown for weeks, and one day, as if no time had passed, he returned. By then, I'd grown accustomed to life without my father, so that night I cried just as hard as I had the first day I realized he was dead.

He was still here after being gone for so long. He was here with me, still; after everything he'd gone through. I think, deep inside I am the reason my father is still here on this earth. He is here for me, to watch over his little girl.

That's how ghosts are. They're just there, even after they have gone. They are here with me, because I can see them, and Paul and Jesse, too, I suppose.

However, if it were not for my father, I would not know why I have this ability. I suppose I still don't, but he did help with explaining it, and telling me it was a calling from God, to help lost souls. That is a nice way of seeing it, if one does not know the burdens that come with the ability.

I pondered all of this and more as Jesse held me in his arms-well, his arm-and I felt like never letting go. He's the only other person that knows about my ability other than Paul. It does not bother that he holds this knowledge either, because I know he would never dare to use it against me. Not like a certain someone I know. A someone I truly wish did not know. But I'd been young and stupid and had allowed myself to get caught by that someone to justify his deep-rooted accusations. At that time, though I hadn't sought Paul as a threat, and I'd purposely allowed for Paul seeing me dealing with a ghost. I too, had thought he could see ghosts. He discovered my ability, yes, but in doing so, he'd revealed that he too could see the ghosts that so terribly haunted me as a child-in so many more ways than one.

None of this, however, answered the one thing I wanted to know: How had Jesse appeared in my bedroom?

I recalled once, a long time ago, that Paul had explained that we-Mediators, he called us-had many more abilities other than communicating with spirits. I tried to surge my memory to recall what exactly he had said, but I could not remember the abilities he had told me about. God knows I had never been interested with this ability of mine, so when Paul attempted to educate me about our ability, I had blatantly ignored him.

"_Querida,_" Jesse at last interrupted the comforting silence shrouding us. He broke away from our embrace and locked his eyes with mine, "I just wanted you to know that I care about you. A lot." And just like he had come, he left, leaving me feel rather confused.

Then I remembered: If you desired something that your conscious could detect, then it would lead you there. I don't understand how exactly it works, but Paul had called this… astral projection?

-888-

I'm sorry for the crappy ending. I really don't like those last two paragraphs, but I'm all typed out and it's of satisfactory length, so I just wanted to end it there. I'm sorry, my laziness empowers me sometimes. If it's a crappy ending, you can go ahead and tell me.

I'll update hopefully by next Thursday or Friday, possibly earlier. Who really knows.

Read and review, please! Your kind words really inspire me to continue.


	9. Chapter 9

Here is chapter nine, at last. I was feeling really uninspired, and I sorta just started typing this chapter, seeing where it would take me. And so as I typed and I typed I started becoming more inspired, and in the end, I came to a chapter that I was satisfied with. This chapter had no planning whatsoever, so I really am proud of myself. Especially after the crappiness of last chapter's ending. I was so out of it, having to right an essay for class, which at last got turned in today, so I was in a writing mood, an escape from horrid essays. So here is six pages that I typed out all today, for you guys.

Now, my reviewers, you guys are truly awesome…… 11 reviews! Thank you so, so, so, so VERY much. Ya'll rock! Kick-ass! So, Secret Agent Angel, kaylie hazelle, Leah, Mrs. Nikki Slater, JessesLatinaQuerida, Chisakami Saiyuki, starrynightdreamer, Tango0929, PixiePam, Sweet Sista Muffin, and WHDDCOS you are all the best. Thank you so much for reviewing last chappy :) you've all made me very happy!

**Disclaimer**: Meg Cabot owns the mediator, not me, of course.

-888-

Jesse's appearance left me feeling… happy and giddy. This whole feeling genuinely good thing, I'm so not used to it. He'd been thinking of me… dreaming of me. Of me! I fell back onto my bed, trying to trigger my memory, for the cause of why he just so suddenly appeared. Once upon a time, Paul had taken it upon himself to explain to me about the great world of mediation. Of course, however, I hadn't been the slightest bit interested in what he said.

Mediation, to me, has always been a curse I've been well, cursed with. I've never once counted it as a blessing, so naturally when Paul tried to teach me about it, I didn't exactly care what he had to say. I suppose I could ask him now, again. But I am so sure he would not help me. Not with the current state of our relationship. Besides, he would get suspicious as to why I am suddenly interested.

Lying on my bed, I thought of the way Jesse had felt in my embrace, how easily I can lose myself in him. Before Jesse, I never thought much of love, and the power it holds on one. But the more and more time I spend with Jesse, the more I am starting to believe I could possibly be falling in love with him.

Love… I like the feel of it, all warm and so, so good. That one day at the beach had been fate. It really had been. Who knows where I would be now, had it not been for Jesse. Most likely, I think I would already be married with Paul. I would have tried to stall it of course, but eventually I would have failed in my attempts and wound up a very unhappy Susannah Slater. Now I am determined to keep that from happening, despite anything that might happen. The very thought of becoming Mrs. Slater chills me to the very bone.

A life married to Paul would be an eternity spent in hell. But a life with Jesse would be one of bliss, a life as if in heaven. All the more reason to figure out a way to stop the impending marriage.

Something ignited within me, and I stood from my bed, and marched down the stairs, heading straight to the barn, "Mother, I will be back in a little while," I called as the door slammed behind me. My mother hurried out the door, calling to me, but I ignored her and went to straight to get Shadow from his stable. Petting him briefly on the nose, I mounted and rode away.

The place I wanted to go was not one I voluntarily went to. But I directed Shadow in the general direction of Paul's domicile and galloped as fast as I could get Shadow to carry me. The horse sped beneath me, his hooves thundering on the path. A few twists and turns, and I was at the entrance of Slater Ranch. I went past the gates, knowing that I was welcome to come and go as I wish. And then, before knowing it, I found myself outside Paul's home, determined to do something. Whether I'd succeed, well I would soon find out.

Dismounting from my horse, I immediately sauntered to the door. As soon as I knocked, whatever prior confidence I felt evaporated. My heart pounded within my chest, resonating so loud I'm sure somebody else could hear it. Why was I here? I had come without a plan, no tact.

The door slowly swung open and a little girl leapt out at me, "Susie!" My heart lowed momentarily, in shock. The little girl that held onto me was Paul's youngest sibling, little Rosaline. I laughed and swept the young girl into my arms, holding her tightly.

"Rosie," I smiled cheerily at her, relieved that it had been her to open the door. Rosaline has loved me for as long as I can remember, and I have too. I pray to God that she will not end up like her brother, lose all her innocence. So far, though it seems Paul is the only Slater offspring who had lost his innocence. Everyone else in his family is purely sweet and caring.

"Susie, what are you doing here? Do you want to play with my dolls?" Other than my mother, I hate it when anyone refers to me as Susie, but with Rosie, I'm willing to let it go, because I know for a fact she does not like being called Rosie. I think that is why I adore her so much, she reminds me of me.

My lips curved into a smile, as I knelt to be eye-level with the girl. "Maybe some other time," I began, rumpling her hair, "But right now, I really can't. I came here to look for your brother. Do you know if he is here?" taking her by the hand, I stood up and led her out onto the porch, to sit on the steps leading to the house.

"I think he went out with daddy. They went to do," she trailed off, tilting her head upwards to think, "I can't remember. Business stuff." Then looking hopeful, she added, "Maybe now we can play with my dolls until they return!" She really has beautiful dolls. These beautiful intricate dolls, dressed with velvet and satin dresses. The only dolls I ever got as a child were the ones my mother made me.

I was ready to answer no, as nicely as I could. But the look on her face, the way her blue eyes shined with anticipation, her lower lip pouted at me, I could not resist. The one thing that all the Slaters have in common is the ability to be charming and adorable. I hate them for it. Hate, I suppose is a strong word, and truthfully only applies to one member of the family. And despite how cruel Paul can be, I don't think I honestly hate him. Dislike, yes, but I could never hate anyone. Hate is a strong emotion that should never be felt.

"Sure, I would like that, Rosie." As soon as I spoke, she jumped from where she sat, grabbing my hand and trailing me behind her with as much force a child of only six could muster, stomping ahead.

"That is so great, Susie. You truly are the best; Elizabeth never wants to play with me."

Elizabeth is Rosie's older sister, the same age as I. But we have never gotten along, and in a way she resents Rosie because she adores me so much. Of course though, Rosaline is too young to realize this, and simply thinks her sister is the wicked older sister. Someday, sadly she will know the truth.

Rosie trundled through the passageways of her home until we at last reached her bedroom, where on the ground, lay this magnificent doll house. The house in itself was meant to be a glorious Victorian house, but it looked more like a manor. It was of the deepest shade of green, with marvelous white shutters lining the fake windows. The house, on its own stood nearly as tall as Rosaline who knelt beside it immediately and began to pull out her dolls. The house was a giant hovering over Rosie.

Kneeling beside Rosaline, I took one o the dolls. I never played with dolls anymore, but her dolls were so beautiful that I could not pass on the opportunity. I wish I could have had these kinds of dolls when I was her age. But I didn't, and I was happy with the ones my mother gave me, knowing I would never have anything better.

"Paul says the house reminds him of your eyes," Rosaline said suddenly, and my heart, I swear skipped a beat. "He saw it in a shop, and he loved the color, so he got it for me."

And suddenly, a new side of Paul was revealed. The caring side of him. Could this be why no one can see him for who he really is, because he really _is_ caring, and he buys his youngest sister a Victorian-style manor? "Paul gave this to you?"

"Of course, he always buys me presents. Daddy always gets mad at him for it, but Paul gets me things nonetheless. And he said the house was no exception, because he loves me. And then he added that the color of it reminded him of your eyes, _had_ to have it. Isn't it beautiful, Susie? The house." She squinted up at me, placing the doll beside her.

"It's gorgeous," I replied automatically, awed. "Rosaline, how long ago did he get it for you?"

"About a half month, I believe." Just like that, she went back to playing with her dolls, finding it a proper place to end conversation. But what'd she just told me left me thing about Paul, a lot. The Paul I've come to known would not do kind gestures, such as. Especially if the gesture reminded him of my eyes.

Behind it all, could Paul really have feelings for me? My gaze landed on the wall of the manor, and I stared long and hard at the green color of it. I simply could not see how this rich green could compare with my dull green eyes.

As I mused on this thought, I absently mindedly played with Rosie, but my thoughts were no where in the game we played, but on Paul. Of course though, just because he was kind to his sister, does not mean he was kind to me.

I played with Rosie for about what could have been a half of an hour, when footsteps treaded in the direction of her room. Rosie's head perked up, waiting to see who it was. "Paul," she whispered and bolted to her feet, and ran out the door. "Paul!" Came a louder exclamation followed by gentle laughter. "Paul, you're back!" another pause, followed by more laughter, the sweet laugh of a young child. "Paul, Susie's here for you. She's waiting in my room. Come on."

"She is, is she? Do you know why?" At that moment, Paul appeared in the door way with his eyebrow raised trailing behind a very happy Rosie. "Why Suze, a pleasure seeing you here today. What brings you about?"

"She came to see you, Paul."

"Why of course she did, Rosaline. Thank you for keeping her company."

"We played with my dolls, and the new house you got me."

"That must have been nice for you, Rosaline. You are always searching for someone to play with you." Crossing the room, Rosaline settled back by the house, picking up her dolls.

"Susie, thank you for playing with me. You can go with Paul now." The little girl's eyes shined with pure joy, and a bright smile plastered on her youthful face.

"No, thank you for inviting me," I replied, standing up and waving my fingers at her in good-bye motion.

Following Paul out the door, I smiled one last time at Rosaline before she was out of my sight. My heartbeat suddenly picked up again, racing thunderously within my chest, as I remembered why I had come.

We walked along together in silence, the only sound my heart beating, but something inside me told me that Paul couldn't actually hear it. So I followed him, not knowing where he was leading me. Wherever it was, it soon became apparent would not be indoors. As we continued across the land in his ranch I began to recognize where he was leading me too. The landscape looked practically unchanged from when I'd last been through this part of the land. The shrubbery, the plants, they all looked the same. Untouched by time. If only my life could have stayed the same, untouched by the forces of time.

Not being able to contain myself, I smiled as the memories poured in. of when I was young and unknowing, a mere six years old, running through these woods so carelessly with my best friend, Paul. All the afternoons we spent out here.

At last, we reached the clearing that was met by a stream that ran through land. Scanning the area, I saw the tree I used to always go and sit underneath for the great shade it provided. Leaning against the trunk, I slid down until finally sitting on the ground beneath. Paul followed, sitting next to me.

"Suze," Paul at last broke the silence. "What is it that you came all this way to speak with me?"

My heart heaved, the pulsations getting stronger. I'd come to tell him that I was not going to marry him, that there was nothing he could do but stand back and agree. But of course, that would be too easy, wouldn't it? Voicing my thoughts, I waited expectantly for him to answer.

After a moment or two, he let out a light chuckle, "If you think I would so easily let you go, then you really are a lot more naïve than I thought Suze. So, no, I do not agree to this proposition of yours, not unless I get something in return. Or, I could slip the word to the town press about your abilities, like I've already told you."

"And what exactly might you want from me Paul? I've got nothing to offer. I just ask you to please not force us into something neither of us wants. Don't you want to be with someone you actually might possibly love? Or even care about. By being forced into this marriage, we're not allowing ourselves fair chance at finding someone we want to be with."

"Suze, don't be silly. This is the way things work these days. Marriages are arranged. Hardly are they ever because the two people knew each other prior to the arrangements, because they fell in _love if _there ever was such a thing. And who says I don't care about you?" At this point, his gaze turned away from my eyes, overcast amongst the running stream out ahead. "I've known you for as long as I can remember. Since I was a mere infant. You may not realize it," his gaze landed back on my eyes, penetrating and deep, "but I do care about you. More than you'll ever know."

"Then why are you so arrogant and condescending towards me all the time?" I tried avoiding his gaze, afraid I might lose myself in it. All this time, I'd thought for sure Paul resented me, could not stand the presence of me. He could be so nasty, so cruel, so horribly sick.

"Because. Because I don't know how to control myself around you. If I have ever offended you, I apologize, sincerely. But Suze, we could make this work, we really could." His warm hand came upon my own and he began stroking it, tenderly and lovingly. "Suze…"

"No. No… Paul, no, I can't. I can't make this work between us. I don't want to. I don't feel the same about you as you do me. A long time ago, I would have been willing to make this work. I could have requited those feelings, but you've changed, Paul. And I don't like who you have become. So please, I ask you, don't force this marriage upon us. It wouldn't be fair to me. If you really care about me, please, you would do this for me." The confidence had melted away from Paul's face, his certainty that I would give in to him. All that remained on his face was hopelessness that I won't change my mind. And he was right to feel hopeless, because I was not going to change my mind. It was already set.

His hopelessness, though soon turned to anger. Bursting to his feet, he paced in front of me, his head down, and some incoherent muttering streaming from his mouth. "Suze, there is no way I am going to do away with this marriage, whether you like it or not, we are getting married. I think I know why you have come to me, claiming all this nonsense about love. But I will not act until I have proven to myself why exactly you've come to me, proposing this foolishness." That's the last he said before storming off.

With Paul gone now, my soaring heart began to settle, and I leaned my head back against the tree. My eyes shut, and in my head I saw Jesse. Somehow, I think Paul had figured it out, that I felt something for Jesse, if his last statement had been any indication. Of course, he hadn't _actually_ said anything pertaining to Jesse, but Paul is always right in his assumptions. He's very intuitive that way, perceptive, he sees things that others normally don't. And if I am correct in assuming what I think he is assuming, well things might not be too good from here on out.

Eventually, when my thoughts came to a halt, I stood up, going back to where I'd left my horse. Mr. Slater was outside, tending to a crop, with his other son, Jack hovering above. They granted me a good night, and offering to accompany me home, since it was now dark, but I kindly rejected their offers. I needed to be alone before getting home. Andy would surely be bothered, and my mother outrages. I would simply not be able to handle it all at once together like that.

Mounting my horse, I began for home, but a voice inside my head stopped me, and instead I went to the beach, to my place. It was late, and the later it would get, the madder my mother would get, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed time to think, to reflect upon what I am going to do.

So I rode to the beach instead, and when I arrived I saw that familiar honey colored horse that could only mean one thing. Jesse.

-888-

So chapter nine has come to an end on a sort of cliffie…. Hehehe. You know the drill, review! 'Tis much appreciated! Chapter ten should be up in a week or so.

Now, I am working on a new story. I just had this idea come to me and I had to type it out. The only thing, I don't know whether to actually post it. You guys can be the ones to tell me. The story's about how Jesse never came back in time with Paul or Suze in Twilight, and Suze has like no memory left of Jesse except for these dreams that she has had since about the time they went back in time. Now Suze is going off to college and there she meets someone who looks exactly like Jesse in every way and…. His name's Jesse de Silva! So pretty much a story of reincarnation and stuff and J/S. So, if you're interested just tell me in a review, and I'll get to posting it


	10. Perfect

Hey guys! My internet was broken all of last week and therefore I could not use it. It at last got repaired last night, thank god, too! I was going nuts here without my precious internet. I finally typed out this chapter of my story yesterday too, and finished it today. I want to start bringing this story to an end. Possibly by chapter 15. So, I'm going to start tying all things up. I'm just not sure how exactly I want to go about the Paul/Suze thing. I have an idea to break them apart at last, but I don't totally like it. If I were to end it in that way, it'd be way too easy of an ending, and kind of stupid and cheesy and so totally not worth it. So I don't know yet. Maybe you guys could me some hints, on how you'd like Paul and Suze to break up. Because, I'm not really all too fond of my own idea.

As usual, a thanks to my fabulous readers: WHDDCOS, SweetSistaMuffin, Rae, Pixie Pam, Jesses Latina Querida, and Mrs. Nikki Slater. Ya'll totally rock. Seriously.

So, I won't bore you any longer with a long paragraph or any thing like that…….

Enjoy! Chapter 10: Perfect

-888-

Climbing as fast as my legs could carry me, I climbed the short hike to the top of the cove that had been mine for so long. Jesse's horse was there, so of course he'd be there too. Jesse… my god it seemed as if ages had passed since I last saw him earlier today. In reality, it had been a mere four hours since then. Yet, I'd missed him so much. The way I find myself missing him when I'm not actually around him.

Like I've said countless times before, Jesse makes happy in ways that I never thought imaginable. I care for him like I've never cared for anyone before. Jesse was everything that Paul wasn't. A gentleman, kind, caring, respectful, all those things and more made Jesse, well Jesse.

When I finally reached the top, I slowly trundled over towards Jesse's body lying limply against a boulder of some sort that was shading him. His hat was tipped over his face, covering those gorgeous strong features that of his face. Closing the gradual distance between the two of us, I kneeled beside him, watching his chest rise and descend with slow steady breaths. Registering the fact that I was just staring at his falling chest, I went to remove his hat. He stirred gently beneath me, his shut eyes contorting, his healthy arm coming to cover his face. He gently rolled back onto his side, never having noticed that I removed his hat.

"Jesse," I cooed obligingly. Again, he stirred gently beneath me, and when his arm lifted from his eyes, they were parted slightly, revealing two dark eyes. Recognition dawned on his features, and his lips curved into a smile.

"Querida," my heart melted upon hearing that wonderfully delicious word, "what are you doing here?" Propping himself onto one elbow, his eyes leveled with mine.

Ignoring his question, I instead asked him on of my own, "What does that mean? Keh-ree-da? You never told me."

"Ah, Susannah, that it solely for me to know, and for you to never find out. I would deeply be embarrassed if you were to find the meaning of this word, mi querida," he smirked a little, mocking me. "I wish not to dishonor you, even if it is a word of affection. That is all you need to know."

"What if I do find out? What it means, I mean. Does that make sense? Anyhow, what will you do if I ever find out what keh-ree-da means?"

"Not much. I'll just hope you are delighted with the meaning of it. That is all, Susannah. But I wish not to tell you because almost immediately upon meeting you, did I refer to you by this, and that might have been a bit forward of me, but I do not regret it. My feelings stand the same, only magnified since then."

I smiled. I couldn't help but doing so. "Really? Now, do tell, Jesse, what exactly are these feelings of yours," I asked in an almost teasing voice, covering the quaver that struggled to show through in my intonation, lacing my voice with a playful, flirtatious sultriness. If Jesse noticed my conflicting voice patters, he did not let on.

Sighing slightly, Jesse faced away from me, his eyes scanning the horizon before locking on my eyes again, "Susannah, to tell you how I feel would require explaining many emotions and would take a rather long time to explain. To put it in simple words, I like you very much, more than anyone ever before, save my family. I hope that you reciprocate these feelings, other wise I would feel foolish for having told you this. But I know you do a part of me deep inside." He took my hand and stroked it gently, lovingly, tenderly in the only way he can; his dark eyes making me melt.

"I do Jesse. I want nothing else than to have a chance to be with you. In this time, however it seems as if love can never prevail," my goodness, I just said love. Did I really say love? Is that what it was? This feeling I get every time I'm within the presence of Jesse? Love?

Could it be that I slowly let myself fall in love with a man just a few weeks ago I barely even knew. Well, I had known him as a child, but that's all I was then, a child. Now I'm a grown woman, not the little girl I had been all those years ago. But still, love? Could it really be?

Love…..

I like the way it sounds, and if this is truly love, then I can most definitely agree that I enjoy the feeling.

"Yes, it does seem to be that way, doesn't it?" He responded, untouched by my word usage, saying love. "Susannah, what if we could overcome all that. Make whatever it is that we have going on between us work. For the sake of us to being together, so that, as I believe you said, love can prevail?" With his good arm, Jesse drew me in to him; taking me into his big strong arms… well what would be his strong arms had one of them not been heavily wounded. His lips grazed my cheek, trailing slowly downwards to eventually meet my lips.

I let myself fall into his scintillating kiss, as his lips molded perfectly against mine. His hand swept behind my head, cupping the back of my head, pressed firmly against my gentle curls. My own hands went to the backside if his head, wrapping around his, neck careful to avoid putting to much pressure on his injured shoulder.

For the longest time, that's all we did. Kiss. It felt so nice. So right. So perfect. Me in his arms, being held as close to him as possible as if he never wanted to let go. The way his lips moved with mine as we kissed. Everything was pure, perfect bliss. When we at last broke apart, our breaths were deep and heavy, labored. My head lay against his chest, my arm wrapped around his chest as he held me by the waist.

My head tipped upwards again, and I gazed lovingly into his eyes. Slowly, I drew in closer and met his lips with a brief peck to the lips, when I broke away Jesse pulled me in closer to him again. And he kissed me again. Every second we kissed, I could feel the shivers all the way down in my toes. This tingling sensation coursing straight through my body. We broke again a lot sooner than we had through the first kiss, but we still held tightly onto one another. As if we were to let go, we would lose each other forever. I don't know, really. But that is how it felt. To me anyway. There's no knowing what he is thinking or feeling.

"Jesse," I whispered into the air, "I love you so much."

There. It had been said at last. It's ridiculous. This whole concept of me being in love so soon after having met him. But, there is no other explanation for these feelings. They are to strong, to unworthy to be anything else but love. I know it. Deep inside myself, I, Susannah Simon, have fallen in love with Hector "Jesse" de Silva. The perfect example of the perfect gentleman. That's my Jesse. I sighed. It all felt too surreal for reality. That someone else would love me, me Susannah Simon. Little ole' Susie Simon.

"And I you, Querida."

Best of all, he loved me too, his querida.

Now, ignore my overuse of the word 'perfect' but this is truly how it all feels. Perfect.

I pulled apart from the comfort of his big lean arms. My hand swept to his face, where I held his cheek. "I know," I whispered, turning to look away from him. "But Jesse… what can we do? You know I have to marry Paul… and not until yesterday you were engaged… with…" I went on slowly, not wanting to say her name. "Maria," I said at last, just barely above a whisper.

His eyes shut, and he leaned his head on the wall of stone behind him. "I know," he too whispered, "I know." His hand came over mine again, and his calloused thumb stroking my palm.

I sighed. Everything was just so complicated. Though, if life were simple, then everything would be too easy, wouldn't it? That's the balance of things, outweighing one another. Nothing can ever be dead on simple. This thing called life can is to headache inducing.

My hand, still entwined in Jesse's levitated from the ground, and suddenly a pair of soft lips kissing my hand. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling, relishing in the simplistic pleasure of it. See, now that wasn't too hard, now was it?

After a few more seconds, I finally realized that dusk was rapidly approaching, if the pink stained sky was any indication. I pulled away from Jesse, knowing, much to my chagrin that I must go home. I had told my mother I would not take long. But now, that statement had turned into a lie. I had not anticipated this delay to happen. I was so sure I would be able to find Paul right away at his home, and then he would agree to break this engagement. I must have been feeling very foolish to have believed it would have happened so.

Jesse and I stood up, Jesse helping me up, and me smoothing down my skirt as I rose. It had creased from being sat upon for so long upon the hard surface of the cliff. But I didn't care. A wrinkle or two is certainly not the worst that could have happened.

We descended together towards our horse. Of course, Jesse had to help me mount my horse, and then mounted his own. We began riding, and I was sure he was going to head home.

He accompanied me home instead. We rode in silence. It wasn't until I reached my home that I remembered he had been behind me the whole way. We went into the stable, to put my horse in her place. Once in there, I pulled Jesse in for a brief, but fiery kiss all the same. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck, and his hands situated themselves at my hips, pulling me in all the closer. When we pulled apart, we muttered our goodbyes, and at last departed.

Inside, my mother was rocking on her wooden chair. A look of worry creasing her delicate features. "Susannah." She stated, not even turning to look at me. "What has gotten into you lately, Susannah? You suddenly disappear and return past dusk followed by that… that man. What are you doing, Susannah, that requires you to so abruptly disappear?"

I stood agape. What had my mother thought of me? I know what I am doing, and certainly not doing anything which she might be assuming. "Nothing mother, he is a friend of mine," A blatant lie, for Jesse is much, much more than a friend, but that is besides the matter at hand.

"Then why do I not know him, Susannah? Why are you always sneaking around with him? Y-you haven't given yourself to him, have you?" Her eyes flashed fiercely, at last looking up at me, her voice an audible whisper.

"Mother! There is nothing happening. That, I can promise you. So please, just let it go. He is my friend. That is all you need to know." I stomped up the stairs, before she said nothing more. The nerve of my mother, to assume that I would… that I would just give myself to anyone.

I heard her cries behind me, to go back. But I would not. I simply could not face her. So I came back late in the afternoon, usually followed by Jesse. But the nerve of my mother! To believe that I would be doing something so… so unchaste. I would never!

Once in my bedroom, I huffily threw myself onto my bed, crashing against the padding beneath me. I curled up into a ball, my knees meeting my chest and I lay there. Not moving, not doing anything. Eventually, when my mental exhaustion wore me out with thoughts racing through my head, sleep took me, claiming me its prisoner. I didn't go down for dinner that night. I vaguely felt someone nudging at my shoulder to wake me, but I did not stir. I did not wake. I slept. I wasn't necessarily tired, but I needed that sleep to calm my frail nerves. At some point, I am sure my mother came in to my room. But I have no proof to support this deduction. Like I said, I slept. Long and hard.

-888-

Well, there's another chappie for ya. Hope you guys liked it. I didn't. Not that much anyway. -shrug- Whatever.

Also, that story I mentioned in my last chapter, it's a work in progress. Still working on it. I've got my first chapter completed (yay) it's really long, and I'm working on my second chapter. Depending on whether I like that second chapter, it will determine whether or not the story for sure goes up. So far, I like it. But I dunno, I can change my mind later on… so yeah…

So, now, if you'll be a sweet lil' thing, go and press the review button. Ya know, the purty purple button below? Yea, that one. Press it… and review! Thankies much:)


	11. Chapter 11

Hey, everyone. Sorry it took so long for me to write this. I've been to out of it lately, with school and all. Plus I had an essay to write for class (ew), and writing essays just sucks out all my writing abilities because I truly hate writing essays. And then I stumbled upon writer's block and I wasn't quite sure what to write. As a matter of fact, I still don't know all the way what I want to do. I only got vague ideas that I'm workin off of.

As usual, a special thanks to my reviewers (tough I'm not going name you all off today, Sorry!) You guys truly are awesome and the ones who inspire me to continue writing this. I seriously would have stopped long ago without you guys.

-888-

It's been a week. A whole week since I last saw Jesse. I don't know what's happened or why I haven't seen him. I've gone out to our spot every night. He hasn't been there once. I haven't been able to escape my mother during the daytime either. I've instead had to spend everyday at home. It is not until the evening she lets me be. When I can at last manage to sneak away from my bedroom long enough each night to make the trip down to the beach and anticipate whether Jesse will show up or not.

About the only good thing that has happened all week is that Paul hasn't stopped by the house to bother me. That, like I said is the only good thing that has managed to happen all week. The last thing he said to me though, that I can't shake off my mind. Perhaps the reason I have not seen Paul around is that he is in fact planning something, keeping off appearances?

Alas, now it had been a week. Whether it is a good thing or not, it will soon reveal itself. There only so long Paul can go without coming to bother me. It's as if his sole purpose in life is to make mine all that much worse. I am quite glad, though now that it has indeed been a week. Andy has to travel out of town for the next couple of days, and my mother will be joining him. They will be gone, Andy says, for more than a week. They are traveling north, to some city quite a way from here. About two days by carriage. They will be there a grand total of three days, so that means at the least, they will be gone exactly seven days. Seven days may not seem like much, but it was enough to make a difference in my life.

Like I said, Paul had made himself too scarce. And in that time, he had indeed been planning something. I wish I could have seen it sooner, to stop the disastrous events that all happened. But in the end it was for the greater good, much to Paul's chagrin. Everything he worked to achieve failed, going against him. Spiting him for interfering with things he must have simply just left alone.

The minute Andy and my mother left, I was out of bed, already planning to meet Jesse. My mother, of course had left me in charge of the chores around the house. To let me tend to the boys. As if I would ever do such a thing. My step-brothers are old enough to care for themselves. Just because I am a woman, I am not going to accept what is considered socially acceptable. No way, not me. I hate doing household chores and I cannot cook a piece of meat to save my dear life. If I did try to cook something, well let's just say chances are I might end up alongside those I help out on a regular basis, those of the dead kind. I might burn down my home and die in a tragic fire. Somehow, that just does not sound all too appealing.

Well, okay I'm not exactly that _bad_ at cooking. I managed to make some cinnamon oatmeal. Enough for me and one of my inept brothers to eat. As to who would get it, well I wouldn't care less.

Outside, the sun was already up, high and bright in the brisk morning sky. Already, the warmth surrounded me, taking away the last remaining fog. The barn, a stray building in the landscape looked brighter today, as if cheerier. Maybe it was because I would at last see my Jesse who I hadn't seen for such a long time. Whatever it was, I was in a most certain better mood than I had been all week.

As is my daily routine, when I got into the barn, I grabbed Shadow's brush and began stroking at his long dark mane. The softness of his mane was like silk beneath my fingers. I prided myself on the condition I kept Shadow in. Leading him away by the reins, Shadow stalked behind me, following as we slowly walked out of our property. Mounting Shadow swiftly, I led him in the general direction towards town.

Jesse, because of who his family was, lived far on the other side of town. Where all the wealthy ranchers and business owners lived. Our small pretend ranch was nothing in comparison to Jesse's. I'd never actually been to his ranch, but I believed his family owned about 25 or so acres of land. Andy could only afford two and a half acres when he first bought our home, and later purchased the remaining acreage to make a grand total of three acres.

Paul also lived over on that side of town, near Jesse. That's how the two of them knew each other; they'd grown up together over on the rich side of town. When I met Pail, well he introduced me to Jesse. Many years later – now – I've met up with Jesse once again. But neither of us are those kids we were, and Paul most certainly is not either.

The morning air whipped against my face as I trundled off on Shadow, his speed increasing ever more so as we approached town. There were quite a few other carriages on the roads, all going to who knows where.

I decided to take the road that wrapped around behind the town, rather than going straight into town where I would most likely spot someone I know and have to, out of courtesy stop and greet that person. So the back roads seemed like a good idea when I decided to take it.

And it was a good idea, too. I crossed across the town quite quickly. But it wasn't until right at the end, where the road merged into three different paths, that I saw a one Mr. Paul Slater trotting along on his own horse.

The way he carried himself indicated that he was about to do something of importance, too. I tried, as quickly as possible to veer off the road so Paul wouldn't see me, but he'd already spotted me. He'd caught me from the corner of his eyes, and sped just that bit more to come and talk with me. Today, of all days, he decided to at last show up in my life. Didn't Paul understand that I needed to see Jesse? That'd it had been a good week since I had last seen Jesse?

"Oh, Suze. Fancy running in to you, here. Don't you think?" His lips rose into that awful smirk of his, the one where he looks as if he knows something that should be obvious to you, only you don't know what. "Where, on this beautiful morning, are you headed too, may I ask?"

He'd gotten me that much was for sure. But what would I tell him? That I was on my way to see Jesse? No. That would never work. He would put all the pieces together with that sole piece of information. I bit at my bottom lip, a habit that only surfaces when I am unsure of what I must do. "Well, I was headed to your home, Paul. If you really must know," the lie just slipped out of my mouth like a fish struggling in my hands.

A perfectly arched eyebrow rose in place, as Paul looked on dubiously. "Is that so, Suze? And what exactly is that you need to go to my home for? I mean, having run into you now, I could just save you the trouble of going all the way to my house," he stated, and then added, just barely above a whisper, "_Querida." _In that instant, my heart stopped, and the color drained from my face. I turned my head to the side, for Paul not to see the expression that took over. Maybe he really hadn't said anything.

Sucking in a deep squelching breath, and trying to remain visibly calm, I asked him what he said.

His lips rose into an impeccable vicious smile, as he answered, "Oh, nothing at all, Suze."

I nodded, every fiber of my being trembling. "Oh, alright. So, Paul, as I said, I was headed to your home. But now that I've seen you, I'll just ask you," in my mind, I scanned for a lie, and then suddenly I remembered that Rosie had fallen ill his week, "How is Rosie doing? I was going to see how she was, seeing as the poor child adores me dearly, surely she would like some company from me?"

The expression on Paul's face seemed as if one of dissatisfaction, but he accepted my lie nevertheless, by looking grim. "She hasn't gotten much better. She is still ill, can't eat a thing without purging it back out. And her temperature just won't go down."

"Poor dear," I responded, not having known that her condition was so serious. "Are you going into town to get her medication?"

"That and I've got my own errands to run. Would you like to join me, _Susannah_," He said my name mockingly, as if it wee some kind of joke to him.

"I would like too," I said before even having thought my decision. But it was better, if I said no and proceeded towards his home, he might decide to follow and see me going to Jesse's instead. So dutifully, I followed behind Paul as he made the turn onto the road that would lead him into town.

We conversed lightly, speaking in between long silences that were soon to be followed by more silences. I played over and over, the scene in my head where I could have sworn he called me _querida_. If he hadn't, then why had he smiled so cruelly afterwards?

I didn't know what to think. Paul had certainly been busy this past week. I mean, the fact I hadn't seen him at all was reason enough.

When we reached town, we made our way through the crowded streets and went in the direction of the town's doctor office. I waited for Paul outside on a bench as I he went in for medicine. When he came back outside, he sat aside to me, handing a slip of paper. Confused, I opened it up to reveal its contents.

At first, I only overlooked the words, not reading them. But when I finally did, I realized what exactly was going on.

To the County Judge,

It has been brought to my attention that a Miss Susannah Simon has been going against a marriage that has been arranged by her step-father, Mr. Andrew Ackerman and Michael Slater, the father of her spouse to be. Miss Simon is refusing to accept the marriage and has in the meantime been fraternizing with another male of four years older than herself, a Mr. Hector de Silva. The law states that Miss Simon is not allowed to be within the company of another male with the exceptions of her betrothed, I, Paul Slater, her step-father, or one of her three step-brothers. I request that this document be put into effect immediately and that if you can, to make this engagement final and at last wed the two of us, for we cannot continue under these circumstances. If not we can take further action to punish the guilty.

Thank you,

Paul Slater.

I took my eyes off the paper and faced an angered Paul staring right back at me. It had all been an act, I realized. Everything sine I'd seen him this morning. He knew well what was going on. I don't know how, but he'd figured out that I was somehow with Jesse, though we'd only kissed a few times and nothing else. Every time I saw Jesse, we only spoke. Nothing more, and with the exception of those few kisses, Paul had figured it all out. And now, he was going to take Jesse away from me, if I didn't marry him.

I remember revising those documents, myself, the ones stating that Paul and I were officially betrothed. Not a single sentence in there had stated that I couldn't be accompanied by another smile. A smile threatened to break onto my face, but I contained it. I glared back at Paul, just as viciously as he was, and tore the paper from his hands, tearing it up.

"That is nonsense, Paul. And you know it. There is not a thing you can do to stop me from seeing Jesse."

Paul's face of triumph faltered into one of defeat. I'd caught him in his own lie. He never was going to give this to anyone. He was simply trying to scare me.

"And you know what, Paul? I don't care what you do anymore, but I simply do refuse to marry you. Go ahead, reveal my secret to the town. I do not care anymore, anything is better than spending the remainder of my life as Susannah Slater."

Huffing off in fury, I fled from Paul, quickly mounting my horse and riding over to where Jesse lived. I'd never been there before, but I immediately saw him out on the fields, followed by a swarm of dogs as he herded the cattle. I rushed over to him on my horse. When he saw me, he looked utterly shocked.

"Jesse," I called into the air, sweeping him into my arms. "I missed you so much." I released him, and clutched his hands within my own.

"_Querida,_ what are you doing here?" The concern laced his already Spanish accented voice.

"I just saw Paul. He knows that you and I, that we… that we've, well I suppose that we've been seeing each other. He figured it out. But I don't care anymore; I told him I won't marry him. There's nothing he can do to stop me. I want to be with you Jesse. I love you. And I won't take anyone else. So Paul can do whatever he wants, even if that means he will reveal my secret to the town."

"But, _querida_…" His voice lingered, as he was still clearly confused.

"Don't worry, Jesse. We can be together no, I think. Nothing matters any more. My parents are away from town this week, but as soon as Andy returns, I'll have him talk to Mr. Slater. This marriage to Paul will absolutely not happen."

"_Querida,_" the one word made me dread what was coming next. It normally made me feel happy now, but the way he'd said it, made me dread what he would say next. "We can't. Not yet. After what happened with Maria, I don't think I can do something like this so soon."

I sighed. I'd acted so impulsively, not once stopping to consider how Jesse might feel.

"But maybe, someday we can. Just not now, Susannah. Please, try to be more rational. Deal with your problems with Paul first, and then we'll decide what to do. But not now. I simply could not after what happened with Maria. I'm not comparing you to her, so don't take it to offense."

I nodded, looking down at the browned earth beneath me.

Jesse's hand came to my chin, cupping it lightly. Then slowly, he leant in, pulling my chin closer to him as ell. When our lips met, I forgot all of my ordeals, and was convinced more than ever that Jesse and I had to be together.

-888-

Ok, I really want to bring this story to an end. So within 2-3 more chapters, it'll be done. We'll hear again from Paul, just to stir up some drama. And he'll try to get Suze back, but like I've said, this is J/S so it's gotta be Jess and Suze ultimately. Again, sorry for the delay in my updating, but I'm sure you guys are all aware of how much school sucks.

If you'd like me to change something with my dealings with paul, then please feel free to comment, otherwise I'm just going to throw in a few more things and Paul will not be trouble anymore.

So, press the purple button at the bottom, ya know, the one that says 'Review' yep that one. Thanks! Hope ya guys liked it. I was mostly satisfied with this chapter, but there are some things I could improve on… oh well. It's an update, right?


	12. Author's Note

It's been a couple weeks since my last update, and I'm sorry but it seems like it'll be a bit longer, too. I want the next chapter for my story to be the ending, but I just don't know how to go and bring that end. I want my story to have a nice, effective ending, and not seem as rushed as my last chapter, so I'm taking my time. It seems I can't put anything together. Every time I start to write something, it starts out nicely but then gets very icky towards the middle and I never finish because I'm unsatisfied with the direction the chapter's going in. I've got a dozen ideas, yet nothing fits in together. So I guess have writer's block or something -shrug- I really don't know…

So, until I can get my next and final chapter, just wait a little longer, I'm sure that something good will just flow out of my fingers soon. Sorry for the delayed posting, when I was on average posting a new chapter a week.

I blame school. It sucks, it's an energy sucker, ya know? It's like a parasite… yeah, that's what school is….

Kim


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